In Which Wilson Is, by Some Definitions, a Troglodyte (PG-13)

[deelaundry]

I wroted this for Jane, but you can see it too. Guess which three words are on the 100 Words Every Word Lover Should Know list. Guess whether I had to look up the meanings, or already knew them.

Guess what restaurant House and Wilson are in. That's right... Olive Garden! (Inside joke, sorry.)

Also, dialogue-only with four people is, um, onerous, so I labelled. Call me a cheater.

Title: In Which Wilson Is, by Some Definitions, a Troglodyte
Rating: PG-13 for use of the word "penis"
Words: 336
Summary/Notes: See title. Dialogue-only Set in early to mid Season Six, aka, a future fic but no spoilers for any episode past Season Three.

Wilson: Cameron! Chase! Didn't expect to see you here.

Chase: Um, well, yes...

Wilson: Yes?

Cameron: House said if we came by tonight we'd get to see who this mystery woman is you've been dating.

Wilson: Mystery woman, hm?

House: I didn't say "woman."

Cameron: So, is she here?

Wilson: Is "she" here, House?

House: I didn't say "she"... and I didn't think they'd be this dense. Hey, guys, did you know Wilson's learning to play the flute?

Chase: The flute?

House: Actually, it's more of a didgeridoo.

Wilson: I'd say piccolo.

House: You're mean.

Wilson: You're obscure.

House: You're a troglodyte.

Wilson: If me Tarzan, that means you Jane.

House: Tarzan wasn't a troglodyte. He lived in a tree, not a cave.

Wilson: "Cave dweller" is only the literal translation of the word. The metaphorical definition as anyone who is primitive and brutish is well-established by --

Chase: Wait a minute. By flute, you mean, "skin flute"?

House: A-yuh.

Chase: I did not need to know that.

Cameron: What are you three talking about? Flutes, instruments...

Chase: "Skin flute"? You've never heard of "playing the skin flute"?

Cameron: No, I have never heard that term. Is it like the jaw harp?

Wilson: That's "Jews' harp."

House: You'd know.

Wilson: Yes, I would, and so would you.

Cameron: Some people call it a jaw harp.

Chase: Now, I have no idea what that is, but I do know skin flute.

Cameron: What's a skin flute?

Chase: Weren't you married before? Haven't we had fights about you being married before?

Cameron: The fights haven't been about me being married before, they've been about --

House: PENIS.

Cameron: Excuse me?

Wilson: That's what "skin flute" means.

Chase: And playing the skin flute is --

Cameron: Oh God. And Wilson is... Ew.

House: Ew? You've never played the Australian piccolo? Chase, you are not a lucky man.

Cameron: I've done it, but... Ew.

Wilson: I've started to find this conversation very insulting.

House: You're the troglodyte who started the whole "piccolo" thing.

Wilson: I was being facetious. Can we compromise on "clarinet"?

House: Why clarinet?

Wilson: Everyone knows when blowing on the clarinet the most important thing is to be careful where you put your teeth.

House: Ooh, yes.

Chase: God, yes.

Cameron: I'm going home.

Comments

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA XD

Yay at House shouting PENIS (and I'm surprised Cameron hasn't come across 'skin flute' before (and the pun was unintentional but it's funny, so I've left it)) and also at Wilson's "I'd say piccolo."

I guess troglodyte, didgeridoo and hmmmm, metaphorical? I'd guess you had to look up didgeridoo (because I don't think you know Rolf Harris in the US - he's an Aussie living in the UK, who is famous for (among other things) playing the didgeridoo. And now you'll tell me I'm wrong anyway XD )

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

"Penis" is a funny word. :D

You got two out of three. Troglodyte and didgeridoo, plus facetious. I knew all three. I think a number of people in the US know about "didgeridoo" because it's such a fun word to say, so it sticks in your mind even if you've only heard it once. XD

Thanks!

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

I nearly picked facetious instead of metaphorical XD

I suspect if you live in the UK and are my age there's no way you wouldn't know what a didgeridoo is :D