BAD!FIC HALL OF FAME

[deelaundry]

Nominate the worst in House fanfic here!! 

saara_zaara

had the wonderful idea of establishing a Bad!Fic Hall of Fame.

How about the House Forces Cameron to Be Anorexic fic?  Or "House molests Cameron in an elevator to get a song out of his head"?  Or "PPTH Gang Goes Camping"?

DO NOT INCLUDE AUTHOR NAMES OR ACTUAL TITLES, PLEASE.  Nominate by subject, or link to the MST if you have it.

Comments

[saara-zaara.livejournal.com]

Well, to get the ball rolling (my idea, my idea! she grins), the MST of a classic "Chase tries to commit suicide, but is stopped in time by House" concept. What makes the original fic truly unique is that it is a bible!fic (rather than the more usual song!fic).
MSTed to perfection by azalaea - http://azalaea.livejournal.com/2006/11/28/

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Credited you! And yeah, that bible!fic was absolutely awful.

[petrichor-fizz.livejournal.com]

Isn't there one in which John "gives" Blythe cancer?

[thewaughnman.livejournal.com]

Yes, and it's here (http://community.livejournal.com/house_mst/50414.html#cutid1)!

Wheew, it still *is* terrible!

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

Oh! Oh! I remember one that had cancer germs in it! I'll have to look for that one.

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

I found it!

http://mercaque.livejournal.com/1842.html

Cancer germs. Hee hee hee hee.

[every-body-lies.livejournal.com]

Oh oh oh! I remember one that had Cameron diagnose a patient with "male pregnancy." I wish I could find the link...

[thewaughnman.livejournal.com]

Here!

This is the one! (http://thewaughnman.livejournal.com/29178.html#cutid1)

Oh the horror!

[drunken-kurage.livejournal.com]

ah horrible as the 'ppth gang goes camping' is, i'll have to go for the 'house sexes up cameron with his cane' one.

[moondustwolf.livejournal.com]

The worst fic I ever read (and thus, MSTed) was the Cameron's evil twin secuces House while Cameron, his real true love, is dying of lukemia.

[mercaque.livejournal.com]

THAT was definitely the worst Mary Sue ever. And I forget the evil twin's exact name -- something like Azuza or Asmana -- but I'm pretty sure that's in the running for worst Mary Sue name ever, too.

Was that technically a Mary Sue? That fic was so bad I don't even remember. I was busy laughing at the MST :)

[enlee.livejournal.com]

I nominate "cancer germs" as well. Also, the one with Wilson's "pig covered body".

You can also throw in any House MST featuring a godawful MarySue.

[purridot.livejournal.com]

I laughed and cried at the one where, inexplicably, the ceiling of one of the hospital wings caved in, and Cameron sacrificed herself to push House out of the way to save his life... there was a wonderful MST of that, but I forgot to mem it!

Then there was the one where Cameron drove her car off the cliff to the tune of "I'm Walking On Sunshine"...

[diysheep.livejournal.com]

I love the ceiling one - damn that shoddy workmanship. There is also the one where Evil Giant violent Stay Puff Stacy punches widdle Cammie through the glass wall and it all comes crashing down like - little shards of baseballs.... hang on:

HMDHMDHMDHMDHMDHMDHMDHDHDHDHDHDHDHDMDWHATEVER

http://diysheep.livejournal.com/2006/07/02/

That nearly rivals the falling roof story.

But I'll have to think of what is the worst of the worst of the worst.

[diysheep.livejournal.com]

So many to chose from. I still one have sitting on my hard drive where Chase tries to kill himself five times in a five minute period - while House is in the room. Poor Chase.

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

That was one of mine and can be found here (http://community.livejournal.com/house_mst/36580.html#cutid1).

I always liked that song but I love it even more after reading the bad!fic XD

[thewaughnman.livejournal.com]

What, nobody mentions the story in which Wilson changes hair color, eye color, sex and marries House and gets pregnant in a story which discriminated against men, black people, working mothers, tall people, etc...?

That has to be the worst story ever written.

Oh, and the story with Oliva killing Chase, with a second chapter which was only a sentence deserves at least a honorable mention...

[enlee.livejournal.com]

OMG...how could I forget the Wilson Gets A Sex Change story????

My favorite bit of that story was when the author declared that it was okay for Cuddy to marry Foreman 'even though he is black'. *headdesk*

Did the author ever tell us how it was possible for someone born without a uterus or ovaries to get pregnant?

[mercaque.livejournal.com]

I nominate the Wilson sex change one too. I cannot believe I still remember the sentence "You can use your black to steal his cancer." Every day I curse my brain cells for retaining this information. God, that fic was so painful, I'm having PTSD. I don't know how Sara Wolfe did it.

[antychan.livejournal.com]

Wilson... sex change?? OMG, that sounds absolutely awful...

Where can I read it?

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

The MST is in three parts:
http://community.livejournal.com/house_mst/66319.html
http://community.livejournal.com/house_mst/67150.html
http://community.livejournal.com/house_mst/67451.html

It's the terriblest!

[antychan.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. GAWD. I didn't think anything could be more cringeworthy than Smallville, but there it is...

See, I don't know if I should be pleased that kids actually do something engaging like writing today or... well, not.

[timbershiver.livejournal.com]

IT'S THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD!!!!

EVIL MAN PARTS FTW!

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

I nominate the one where House found that Cameron was using "his" shower, and he didn't recognise her by her voice, only when he actually saw her... I MSTed it - I'll have to look up the date and then I can find the link.

[diysheep.livejournal.com]

And what the hell was she doing in the boys bathroom anyway? Ah it's like reliving all the good times.

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

Here (http://community.livejournal.com/house_mst/61543.html#cutid1) it is.

[dollrock.livejournal.com]

Pippa Sue!

Cameron's Musical Flock of Orphans!

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

Are we going to have categories? XD

Some of the fics aren't necessarily badly written, just very tedious (vampire!Wilson, to cute a recent example).

Suggestions:

- most boring fic using potentially interesting plot
- most OOCness in one character
- most horrible Mary Sue
- the bad!fic most likely to require use of brain bleach
- stupidest name of Mary Sue
- stupidest name of original character that is not a Mary Sue

Just throwing some ideas into the pot...

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

I meant to say "not necessarily that badly written"...

[diysheep.livejournal.com]

Oh oh oh - I want: Stupidest sentence and stupidest 'a tragic accident makes so and so realisise their true love for so and so' story.

[thewaughnman.livejournal.com]

And most horrible plot twist!

[r0s3l992.livejournal.com]

If you want a nomination for 'most boring fic using potentially interesting plot', then it has to be the Wilson-is-a-vampire one.
Also, another category (just a suggestion: Stupidest Spawn Name.
Gotta nominate Kaygreg for that one.

[mercaque.livejournal.com]

What about Worst Medical Terminology? Remember that Chase/Cameron fic where they spent an inordinate amount of time hanging out around Cameron's husband's grave? Every time it got to something medical, the author would literally insert a bunch of gibberish, as in, "He has an infection in his hominahomina" or "Do a biopsy of his whirligigbobdaddyfrank." LOL... dear God.

[saara-zaara.livejournal.com]

Think we also need a catagory for "most appalling Chase death fic" - he seems to have 50,000 more of these out there than any other character (& that's not counting the "House saves Chase from suicide" fics). Two of my fav MSTs tackle the problem - Tickle Me Emo at http://mercaque.livejournal.com/6196.html and An Inordinate Multiplicity of Chase Deaths (SIX fricking times in ONE fic, I ask you) at http://thewaughnman.livejournal.com/28915.html

[maddoggirl.livejournal.com]

I'm reading the Blythe-cancer-stupid-author-girl one MST-ed under the title Ju-On right now. And choking with laughter. Some people have actually lived to an age where they are able to type without having killed themselves in a spoon-related accident, and this is what they produce.

And yes, categories vewwy good idea. I loved the 'dear Lord! a fadiggly haemagoppledyplop in his coomunchies!' fic where no pretence was made on the author's part to have actually researched their subject matter. There must be a 'WORST PORN' category too.

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

Worst porn:

I definitely nominate the horrible thing I just MSTed, which is here (http://community.livejournal.com/house_mst/85079.html#cutid1).

[maddoggirl.livejournal.com]

Ja, totally had that in mind!