A ha

[deelaundry]

I've finally decided what I think Wilson meant by saying "I'm not sure we ever were [friends]" to House.

In my opinion (you may have a different interpretation), he was saying, "I don't think the relationship we've had was friendship. It was something, but not that." And why did he have to say it at all? Why couldn't he have just walked out after "We're not friends any more, House"?

I think because he needed House to know that he (Wilson) was talking about and evaluating the relationship as a whole. Not "We were friends, and now we're not," which would lead House to believe the relationship had been fundamentally OK before.

House had finished digging his own grave with the blackmail over the patient. He stated it was about how much he valued Wilson's friendship, but then acted in a way that detracted from their relationship, rather than contributing. He didn't, in that case, act as a real friend would, and I think that cemented Wilson's impression.

By the way, I fully appreciate that House showed the depth of his feeling for Wilson during "Wilson's Heart." Absolutely he acted as a caring friend and gave his all. I don't think Wilson can see that. I think those days were too clouded with worry, grief, and pain for him to be able to recall just how much House was giving. And if he can recall, then he's weighing it against the years of House taking and giving so little back, and has decided it just doesn't add up.

Wow, depressing. To keep on with that theme: Every time Wilson flips his radio to the oldies station, he hears this song, Y/N?

Watch on Vimeo

They'll overcome this in time and have a better relationship for it. I'm positive they will.

Comments

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

*nods*

That's what I think, with an added dollop of plain old hurt feelings which led to Wilson actually saying that last line.

He's been gone two months, and while he's changed, House hasn't. House's take is essentially, "Okay, grieving's over and done with, now let's get back to that version of normal where I'm the focus of your life."

Maybe not in such blatant terms, of course, but something like that. I don't think House asked him once if he (Wilson) was all right. I think Wilson expected House to give something -- anything -- and he didn't get it. He got it from Foreman and Cameron, but not House. And maybe he was naive to expect that, but ... I think he really loved Amber, and may have felt this was his last shot at some kind of real happiness in a "normal" relationship.

And look at me -- typing all this out and I have to get going. Hee.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

I don't know if Wilson expected House to do something, or if he was resigned that House wouldn't. In any case, House's one thoughtful gesture, "Mabye I can help," was just way, way too late.

House is going to have to do a lot of thinking, in a way he's not used to doing it, to convince Wilson they have a friendship, and that it's worth saving.

[blackmare.livejournal.com]

I don't think House asked once if he (Wilson) was all right.

I think House did ask and that was when Wilson told him (as we gathered from the opening scene) basically to leave him alone.

I think House would have asked again, had Wilson given him the chance, but instead, Wilson's first words to him were, "I'm leaving." Even then, it took a bit more verbal pummeling by Wilson before House stopped his (admittedly awkward, but genuine) attempts to offer some kind of support, and fell into defensiveness and attacks instead.

Seriously. Re-watch that first scene between them, and you'll see House stop himself from the "milking it" train of thought and try to have an actual conversation, even when Wilson has just announced that he's completely rejecting House leaving his job. And watch Wilson totally shoot him down. I understand why, truly I do, but Wilson could have had much better from House than he got, if only he'd been willing to allow it.

[genagirl.livejournal.com]

I think you are totally right on this. It was the whole, not just Amber - she put it in perspective for him. And I think he wants to honor her memory or at least mark her presence in his life by looking out for himself. She wanted him to, she fought for him to stand up to House, not just be a doormat. I think she knew how much Wilson loves House but that it was not an equal realtionship and this is Wilson's way of remmebering her. Now, I think we all know they will go back to their weird relationship in the end but Wilson will be a bit more of an equal partner. Still, he said what he said and maybe - just maybe House (who should be reeling from Wilson leaving him) will let this sink in and see their friendship in that light and work to make it different. I honestly don't think House can survive w/o Wilson as a buffer between the world an himself, he just ins't equiped to do so. I have faith in their friendship and I think House does too.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

I'm convinced the POTW from 5-1 blabbed the plotline of the House-Wilson estrangement. House will temporarily find someone else (the PI?), Wilson will try to move on, but they'll end up back together with House making more attempts to make the relationship more equal, even though it'll never truly be so. I don't think Wilson even would want it to be equal; he likes being "in charge of their relationship" too much.

Funny, I thought from the first time that was said in "Mirror, Mirror" that you can be "in charge" without being the boss, and that's what I think Wilson is. Wilson has the responsibilities but House is the one driving.

I have faith in their friendship, too. They'll realize what it means to their lives and re-build it.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes. To me that scene felt like a couple's breakup, not the end of a friendship. Like, when a couple is together long enough, each person has learned to assume how the other will act in any given situation. Except this time, House's assumption was wrong and by the time he realized it, he couldn't fix it.

[daasgrrl.livejournal.com]

This. I was just saying to someone yesterday that despite the actual content, that scene felt to me like the most genuinely 'romantic' scene H/W have ever had.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

It was so difficult for both of them. House making the last-ditch effort of opening up, and Wilson not letting himself hear it. Heart-breaking.

[savemoony.livejournal.com]

I don't really want to *think* right now -- especially since I'm off to dinner, so I will just post that if that's Wilson's song, then this must be House's:



(Will post srs bns later)

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Yep-a-doodle! Poor House.

[blackmare.livejournal.com]

Totally agreed.

That was what I thought the instant Wilson said that -- he was talking about the notion that perhaps what they had was never a friendship at all, but some weird twisted approximation thereof.

And yes, he's wanting to make it matter that Amber was in his life, that she loved him; he wants to hold onto whatever he can of the gift she gave him.

And House loves him more than life, and we've seen that when it comes to that, he will give anything for Wilson, but it needs to start showing up in ways Wilson can understand. Although, to be fair, Wilson is known to reject House's affection and trust (monster truck tix; House's admission of returning pain after the ketamine) when House does offer.

They've both been at fault, in various ways.

I don't want them to go back to being like they were. I want them to be better than they were. I want Wilson to only do the driving if he's been invited to the party, you know? And I want him to recognize and accept the gifts, large and small, that House does give.

[californiaquail.livejournal.com]

I can't see what song you picked. It's just a blank, white square. But I was thinking "Every Breath You Take" by the Police -especially the line "every smile you fake" which is perfectly Wilson.

I guess I can see how Wilson might have meant that. But House will only hear. "I'm rejecting you. I never wanted you. I'm leaving." Wilson's gesture might be noble in his own mind. But it's otherwise pointless. If Wilson really meant that, then he should have said that. He might have meant it. But his desire to inflict hurt won out and he phrased his words thusly.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

The song is "Nowhere to Run" by Martha and the Vandellas (lyrics here (http://lyrics.astraweb.com/display/954/martha_and_the_vandellas..unknown..nowhere_to_run.html)). It's a YouTube clip; I don't know know why it's not showing for you. Hmm.

You and I are never going to agree on whether Wilson meant to hurt House. It's obvious to you and me and all the viewers that he did hurt House, but I personally don't believe that was Wilson's intent. Wilson was thinking about himself and his own hurt and his own need to get away -- about doing what was best for himself.

As for his phrasing... do you think he was in a state of mind to pick every word perfectly? I don't. I think he was very upset about what he was saying, bewildered by it, even, and in his own world of pain.

House deserves Wilson's love. But this time he's going to have to put himself out to find a new way to show what Wilson means to him. His statement of "Maybe I can help" was such a great start, and how sad it was that it came at the wrong time. He's going to have to try again.

House knows what it's like to be in pain and to lash out at those trying to help you. To push people away in order to protect yourself. This time, Wilson's the one doing the pushing, and House has to be the one to see past it and overcome it.

[chippers87.livejournal.com]

I completely agree with you, and feel that this should be Wilson's song:



And it's not hard to believe that Wilson could jam to this.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

That is an awesome song for Wilson! Oh yeah.

(What is with Justin Timberlake's hair there? So embarrassing!)

[poorfrances.livejournal.com]

BANDWAGON JUMPER!

I think Wilson hears this on the oldies station:



Through the mirror of my mind
Time after time
I see reflections of you and me

Reflections of the way life used to be
Reflections of the love you took from me

Oh, I'm all alone now
No love to shield me
Trapped in a world that's a distorted reality

Happiness you took from me
And left me alone with only memories

Through the mirror of my mind
Through these tears that I'm crying
Reflects a hurt I can't control
'Cause although you're gone
I keep holding on
To the happy times
Oh, when you were mine

As I peer through the window of lost time
Looking over my yesterdays
And all the love I gave all in vain
All the love that I've wasted
All the tears that I've tasted
All in vain

Through the hollow of my tears
I see a dream that's lost
From the hurt that you have caused

Everywhere I turn
Seems like everything I see
Reflects the love that used to be

In you I put all my faith and trust
Right before my eyes
My world has turned to dust

After all the nights
I sat alone and wept
Just a handful of promises
Are all that's left of loving you

Reflections of the way life used to be
Reflections of the love you took from me

In you I put all my faith and trust
Right before my eyes
My world has turned to dust

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Another awesome song for the situation. Wilson adores torch songs, Y/N?

[xaipw.livejournal.com]

ILU
And I agree with you.
I also wonder if maybe there wasn't a little bit of "tough love" in that statement too. I think Wilson knew that he would have to say something hurtful in order for House to truly understand the damage that's been done to their relationship. A bit like when someone tells a jilted lover "I don't love you anymore", even though they do.


A song for our boys:

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

ILU, too. : )

I think both of them avoided saying anything real for way too long (oh, so typical for them) and that ratcheted up that final scene to heartbreaking proportions. D:

[hannahrorlove.livejournal.com]

I've had a fair number of friendly relationships that I wouldn't count as "friendships," even if the other person and I were fairly close, so yes. Once again, I have to thank you for putting into specific words the ideas that were floating around in my head.

(Incidentally, embedded YouTube content doesn't always show up on a specific web browser if the person using the browser doesn't have the right set of plugins. Fortunately, I've still got Internet Explorer installed on this.)

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'd been puzzling over it in the back of my mind for a few days and finally wanted to lay it out.

In general, not related to House, I think we as Americans over-use the word "friend." Someone at work was annoyed because I didn't call her a friend, and I thought, "We barely even have lunch, much less go out outside of work. You don't even know my home phone number. What's wrong with calling you a colleague?"

Thanks for the YouTube info, too. I mostly use IE, so it hadn't occurred to me.

[spoopy.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that was what I thought when he said that. I'm lazy and can't be bothered rewriting my opinion on this, so I'll copy/paste what I said in my episode reaction post thing:

"So we're okay." Guh. The way House said this. And it was such a parallel to House Vs. God, when House and Wilson stood outside the hospital after the whole Grace thing, and House said, "But we're okay" in that very uncertain tone of his. And Wilson said, "House, you are.... as God made you." Except this time, he wasn't anywhere near as forgiving or gracious. He just said, "No, we're not okay." And then went on to say that he wasn't sure they even ever had a friendship to begin with. I kind of agree with him on one level. There seemed to be an awful lot of taking and not a lot of giving when it came to House in their friendship. But on other levels, there is a very strong bond between House and Wilson. It has, however, become so convoluted with issues and baggage and hurt and pain and mistrust and all those other screwed up problems those boys bring into their friendship, it's hard to sift through all the crap and debris to find where the essence of their friendship lies.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Cut-and-paste works well, and I agree with you. Especially the point about their bond getting more convoluted and laden with baggage. Go back to the basics, and you get them laughing together on Christmas Eve, but so much has been piled on top and it's hard, as you said, to see the basics.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

That is the saddest giant-squid song I've ever seen. D: XD

I can totally see House thinking along those lines. The catch, of course, is that House doesn't have to be that way. He has it in his power to change, but I don't think he believes that.

"Collateral damage of their current relationship" is exactly what I think has pushed Wilson to do this. And that was another thing that made the patient manipulation such an incorrect move on House's part -- he was putting the patient in danger because of their friendship, so clear a parallel to Amber. So sad.

[jdr1184.livejournal.com]

It just about killed me when Wilson started blaming himself. That was one prediction I didn't want to be right about, because even though he threw in the House alone and it was plain that he was just trying to convince himself. Can imagine feeling that you had killed your loved one, because you’re in a twisted relationship with your best friend? I know House was hurting in this ep, but Wilson’s pain was all I could see. I need to watch again—fast forwarding through the 13 crap. lol.

I had the strangest dream that Amber was following House around in the hospital, haunting him because he had screwed up with Wilson. She couldn't rest until they were whole again. *sighs*

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

There was no doubt in my mind that Wilson would at least somewhat blame himself. He's kind of made for guilty feelings. Man, they're so messed up. DDDDDD:

It'll be so, so interesting to see how this resolves. Only two days until the next ep!

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

(Haven't read any comments yet)

I think Wilson said it partly because he believed it when he said it (since he is currently still overwhelmed by grief) and partly because he was trying to prevent House coming after him (although if he were thinking straight, he'd know better, of course).

I think they do need each other, however dysfunctional their relationship, and I also think that their renewed relationship will be much more 'even'.

(Reads comments)

I think it's possible that if House had been 'a horrendous pain in the ass', then Wilson might just have stuck around. I also think that not being a pain in the ass was House's way of trying to do the right thing by Wilson and letting him have time to himself.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

I agree with you. I think when they're back together, Wilson will still do a lot of the relationship "work" simply because he's more inclined to do it, but House will put in more effort than he does now. The key will be for Wilson to be upfront and direct about what he needs from House. Californiaquail had a good point up earlier about Wilson not being plain about his expectations of House. Of course, House isn't always open in that way, either. I'm hopeful they can move at least a little bit in that direction.

House giving Wilson some space was good, but you know that I think House should've also made an effort in that time to do something for Wilson as a gesture. Like getting the footage of Amber from the "Ugly" documentary, for example. : )

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I couldn't find a video for it but I think House hears "Good Morning Heartache" by Billie Holiday.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

I don't know that song; I'll have to go find it somewhere.

[hibernia1.livejournal.com]

I think you may have a point there. And yeah, I'm sure they will overcome this, they have to! They need each other.