A ha

[deelaundry]

I've finally decided what I think Wilson meant by saying "I'm not sure we ever were [friends]" to House.

In my opinion (you may have a different interpretation), he was saying, "I don't think the relationship we've had was friendship. It was something, but not that." And why did he have to say it at all? Why couldn't he have just walked out after "We're not friends any more, House"?

I think because he needed House to know that he (Wilson) was talking about and evaluating the relationship as a whole. Not "We were friends, and now we're not," which would lead House to believe the relationship had been fundamentally OK before.

House had finished digging his own grave with the blackmail over the patient. He stated it was about how much he valued Wilson's friendship, but then acted in a way that detracted from their relationship, rather than contributing. He didn't, in that case, act as a real friend would, and I think that cemented Wilson's impression.

By the way, I fully appreciate that House showed the depth of his feeling for Wilson during "Wilson's Heart." Absolutely he acted as a caring friend and gave his all. I don't think Wilson can see that. I think those days were too clouded with worry, grief, and pain for him to be able to recall just how much House was giving. And if he can recall, then he's weighing it against the years of House taking and giving so little back, and has decided it just doesn't add up.

Wow, depressing. To keep on with that theme: Every time Wilson flips his radio to the oldies station, he hears this song, Y/N?

Watch on Vimeo

They'll overcome this in time and have a better relationship for it. I'm positive they will.

Comments

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

*nods*

That's what I think, with an added dollop of plain old hurt feelings which led to Wilson actually saying that last line.

He's been gone two months, and while he's changed, House hasn't. House's take is essentially, "Okay, grieving's over and done with, now let's get back to that version of normal where I'm the focus of your life."

Maybe not in such blatant terms, of course, but something like that. I don't think House asked him once if he (Wilson) was all right. I think Wilson expected House to give something -- anything -- and he didn't get it. He got it from Foreman and Cameron, but not House. And maybe he was naive to expect that, but ... I think he really loved Amber, and may have felt this was his last shot at some kind of real happiness in a "normal" relationship.

And look at me -- typing all this out and I have to get going. Hee.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

I don't know if Wilson expected House to do something, or if he was resigned that House wouldn't. In any case, House's one thoughtful gesture, "Mabye I can help," was just way, way too late.

House is going to have to do a lot of thinking, in a way he's not used to doing it, to convince Wilson they have a friendship, and that it's worth saving.

[genagirl.livejournal.com]

I think you are totally right on this. It was the whole, not just Amber - she put it in perspective for him. And I think he wants to honor her memory or at least mark her presence in his life by looking out for himself. She wanted him to, she fought for him to stand up to House, not just be a doormat. I think she knew how much Wilson loves House but that it was not an equal realtionship and this is Wilson's way of remmebering her. Now, I think we all know they will go back to their weird relationship in the end but Wilson will be a bit more of an equal partner. Still, he said what he said and maybe - just maybe House (who should be reeling from Wilson leaving him) will let this sink in and see their friendship in that light and work to make it different. I honestly don't think House can survive w/o Wilson as a buffer between the world an himself, he just ins't equiped to do so. I have faith in their friendship and I think House does too.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes. To me that scene felt like a couple's breakup, not the end of a friendship. Like, when a couple is together long enough, each person has learned to assume how the other will act in any given situation. Except this time, House's assumption was wrong and by the time he realized it, he couldn't fix it.

[savemoony.livejournal.com]

I don't really want to *think* right now -- especially since I'm off to dinner, so I will just post that if that's Wilson's song, then this must be House's:



(Will post srs bns later)

[blackmare.livejournal.com]

Totally agreed.

That was what I thought the instant Wilson said that -- he was talking about the notion that perhaps what they had was never a friendship at all, but some weird twisted approximation thereof.

And yes, he's wanting to make it matter that Amber was in his life, that she loved him; he wants to hold onto whatever he can of the gift she gave him.

And House loves him more than life, and we've seen that when it comes to that, he will give anything for Wilson, but it needs to start showing up in ways Wilson can understand. Although, to be fair, Wilson is known to reject House's affection and trust (monster truck tix; House's admission of returning pain after the ketamine) when House does offer.

They've both been at fault, in various ways.

I don't want them to go back to being like they were. I want them to be better than they were. I want Wilson to only do the driving if he's been invited to the party, you know? And I want him to recognize and accept the gifts, large and small, that House does give.

[californiaquail.livejournal.com]

I can't see what song you picked. It's just a blank, white square. But I was thinking "Every Breath You Take" by the Police -especially the line "every smile you fake" which is perfectly Wilson.

I guess I can see how Wilson might have meant that. But House will only hear. "I'm rejecting you. I never wanted you. I'm leaving." Wilson's gesture might be noble in his own mind. But it's otherwise pointless. If Wilson really meant that, then he should have said that. He might have meant it. But his desire to inflict hurt won out and he phrased his words thusly.

[blackmare.livejournal.com]

House's one thoughtful gesture ... was just way, way too late.

Yes, it was, and yet I find I don't blame him for that. His best friend, the one for whom he just risked not only his life but his brain function, apparently told House to LEAVE HIM ALONE and didn't talk to him for two months. Then came back and, before House could so much as finish a sentence, informed him "I'm leaving."

House's initial response was, for House, almost ... tender. He stopped himself from the "milking it for all it's worth" train of thought and corrected that. He tried to remind Wilson what any grief counselor will tell you, which is that major life-altering decisions should not be made in the immediate aftermath of a loved one's death. Only when Wilson lashed out at him did House pull away and revert to his standard bullying, defensive, angry & fearful tactics. IMO they spiraled downward together, both the victims of their shattered emotions and of each other.

[blackmare.livejournal.com]

I don't think House asked once if he (Wilson) was all right.

I think House did ask and that was when Wilson told him (as we gathered from the opening scene) basically to leave him alone.

I think House would have asked again, had Wilson given him the chance, but instead, Wilson's first words to him were, "I'm leaving." Even then, it took a bit more verbal pummeling by Wilson before House stopped his (admittedly awkward, but genuine) attempts to offer some kind of support, and fell into defensiveness and attacks instead.

Seriously. Re-watch that first scene between them, and you'll see House stop himself from the "milking it" train of thought and try to have an actual conversation, even when Wilson has just announced that he's completely rejecting House leaving his job. And watch Wilson totally shoot him down. I understand why, truly I do, but Wilson could have had much better from House than he got, if only he'd been willing to allow it.

[chippers87.livejournal.com]

I completely agree with you, and feel that this should be Wilson's song:



And it's not hard to believe that Wilson could jam to this.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

The song is "Nowhere to Run" by Martha and the Vandellas (lyrics here (http://lyrics.astraweb.com/display/954/martha_and_the_vandellas..unknown..nowhere_to_run.html)). It's a YouTube clip; I don't know know why it's not showing for you. Hmm.

You and I are never going to agree on whether Wilson meant to hurt House. It's obvious to you and me and all the viewers that he did hurt House, but I personally don't believe that was Wilson's intent. Wilson was thinking about himself and his own hurt and his own need to get away -- about doing what was best for himself.

As for his phrasing... do you think he was in a state of mind to pick every word perfectly? I don't. I think he was very upset about what he was saying, bewildered by it, even, and in his own world of pain.

House deserves Wilson's love. But this time he's going to have to put himself out to find a new way to show what Wilson means to him. His statement of "Maybe I can help" was such a great start, and how sad it was that it came at the wrong time. He's going to have to try again.

House knows what it's like to be in pain and to lash out at those trying to help you. To push people away in order to protect yourself. This time, Wilson's the one doing the pushing, and House has to be the one to see past it and overcome it.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

apparently told House to LEAVE HIM ALONE and didn't talk to him for two months.

Actually, we don't know what transpired between Wilson and House. I wish we did. Wilson could've said directly to him, "House, I can't deal with you; go away." Or it could've been just the glance in the ICU, and then Wilson spent the next weeks mired in grief and waiting for House to make an effort, to call and ask how he was, send a card (or a stripper-gram), or something, while House assumed Wilson didn't want to see him. We don't know. Damn writers.

[poorfrances.livejournal.com]

BANDWAGON JUMPER!

I think Wilson hears this on the oldies station:



Through the mirror of my mind
Time after time
I see reflections of you and me

Reflections of the way life used to be
Reflections of the love you took from me

Oh, I'm all alone now
No love to shield me
Trapped in a world that's a distorted reality

Happiness you took from me
And left me alone with only memories

Through the mirror of my mind
Through these tears that I'm crying
Reflects a hurt I can't control
'Cause although you're gone
I keep holding on
To the happy times
Oh, when you were mine

As I peer through the window of lost time
Looking over my yesterdays
And all the love I gave all in vain
All the love that I've wasted
All the tears that I've tasted
All in vain

Through the hollow of my tears
I see a dream that's lost
From the hurt that you have caused

Everywhere I turn
Seems like everything I see
Reflects the love that used to be

In you I put all my faith and trust
Right before my eyes
My world has turned to dust

After all the nights
I sat alone and wept
Just a handful of promises
Are all that's left of loving you

Reflections of the way life used to be
Reflections of the love you took from me

In you I put all my faith and trust
Right before my eyes
My world has turned to dust

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

My understanding was that Wilson told House he (Wilson) needed some time to himself.

Wasn't that what House told Cuddy he'd said?

[californiaquail.livejournal.com]

The thing is that -in my mind- House has already put himself out there more than he would. Just saying what he said to Wilson must have been incredibly difficult. I just don't see House seeing Wilson's response as a challenge to "do better."

He offered himself to Wilson in the only way he knew how, in a way far more bare than he's ever offered himself to anyone, that we know of on the show. I can't see him ever being able to muster the enthsusiasm to "try again".

Stacy left him and he went years before he even went on a date. That says a lot. Wilson knows this already. We know he does, via his pre-date conversation with Cameron. There's no way that he didn't have at least an inkling of how those words would be received.

Wilson might have been "bewildered" and scared and no, he shouldn't have to carefully pick his words when in that state. But he said what he said and he will have to live with the affect they have, whether he intended them or not. People who murder in the heat of passion still killed another person, even if they spend the rest of their lives wondering how the hell they could have done it at all. Even if it's not something they would ever have pictured themselves doing, they still did it. The result is the same. Someone is dead.

I'll actually be very disappointed if Wilson says he's sorry and didn't really mean it and House takes him a face value. Not only would that be incredibly OOC, but just plain wrong. House deserves better than that. The problem is that House doesn't think so.

I think Cameron summed it up best (never thought I'd say that) when she said that Wilson would realize months from now that he had no idea what he was doing. Trouble is, that it can't be undone. I'm not sure House's soul can take much more damage. I am anxious to see how the writers plan to repair this and make it believable.

Seeing the actual show didn't dispel any of my pre-season-five assessments. They stengthened them, to the point that I may very well have to stop watching altogether.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

I can re-watch tonight. She asked how long it'd been, House said, "When did his girlfriend die?" and then said something like, "Apparently he needed time alone." If I've got the phrasing right then 'apparently' is up in the air.

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

I could have sworn House said that Wilson told him he needed some time alone.

But then, I was probably just hearing what I wanted to hear.

*g*

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

I'm convinced the POTW from 5-1 blabbed the plotline of the House-Wilson estrangement. House will temporarily find someone else (the PI?), Wilson will try to move on, but they'll end up back together with House making more attempts to make the relationship more equal, even though it'll never truly be so. I don't think Wilson even would want it to be equal; he likes being "in charge of their relationship" too much.

Funny, I thought from the first time that was said in "Mirror, Mirror" that you can be "in charge" without being the boss, and that's what I think Wilson is. Wilson has the responsibilities but House is the one driving.

I have faith in their friendship, too. They'll realize what it means to their lives and re-build it.

[blackmare.livejournal.com]

House told Cuddy that Wilson "said he wanted time alone" or to be left alone, and "I respected that." It's hard for me to interpret that as meaning anything other than that House tried to talk to him and Wilson refused.

[daasgrrl.livejournal.com]

This. I was just saying to someone yesterday that despite the actual content, that scene felt to me like the most genuinely 'romantic' scene H/W have ever had.

[asynca.livejournal.com]

I doubt Wilson would have said that; I think House would have simply avoided Wilson because he felt uncomfortable dealing with the pain Wilson was going through, and simply used the pretense that Wilson needs some time to himself as the stated reason why he wasn't spending time with Wilson.

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

*shakes head*

If we don't know exactly how Wilson conveyed this message, then it's just as valid to interpret it as Wilson making the first move by coming to House and saying it. It's also possible he called House on the phone and told him.

I'm just saying -- we don't know.

And I gotta go to the store. Gah. :-)

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

You really don't think House can do better than what he did? You think he wouldn't bother to try to take more steps to reach out? They've said on the show that House is not unable to see how other people relate to each other, he just doesn't choose to act that way. You don't think he could choose, in this instance, to extend himself farther?

I don't think Wilson is ever going to say that he didn't mean it. Because he did mean it (in my opinion).

You mentioned Stacy. The show showed us how tender and oddly romantic he could be with her. He can show affection. The question is whether he will, or whether he'll continue to take the tactics of "you must do this because I want it" that he's taken so far.

I agree with you that Cameron was right (when she's the most sensible one, I have to wonder if the world is ending) that in the future Wilson will feel differently, will see the situation differently. I think she's also correct that there's no "right choice" now.

House is going to survive this blow. He is all about surviving. And he's going to get Wilson back in his life. The question for me is how. I guess the question for you is why. I'm hoping both get answered in the next few episodes.

[californiaquail.livejournal.com]

Yes, my question is why. I don't think if I were in his position and those words were spoken to me, I'd even want anything to do with that person again. If Wilson actually meant it, like you said, even more reason to detach permanently.

My question would be why should House extend himself farther than being willing to die to save Wilson's girlfriend? What else could Wilson's ask for? I can't even imagine. House was honest with him and Wilson blew it off like it meant nothing. House's gesture of leaving his pager might have been meaningless for some. But for House to say Wilson was more important than his patients was HUGE. There's no sufficient synonym for HUGE that accurately describes that. I can't see Wilson ever being satisfied, if that wasn't enough.

House is obsessive, so he will try to persue Wilson. But I think that will be driven more by his inability to let anything go than a geniune longing for Wilson's company. He'll be curious, and not knowing what Wilson is up to will force him to hire the PI and find out. Of course, Wilson will only interpret this as something negative and allow it to further lower his opinion of House.

You said it yourself "survive" -as if a friendship is something that should have to be survived. And blow is definitely the right word.

I think Wilson does need some time away, to perhaps take a better look at himself and realize he's in position to be telling anyone else how to live their lives better. Maybe I'm having trouble taking Wilson's feelings seriously because like House said "you love everybody." He reminds me of my sister, when she was in highschool. Every week is was a new guy, and she would DIE if they couldn't be together. After a while it was like "you're in love? *yawn*" I'm sure Wilson's love for Amber was real. But his love for House, someone he's known way longer and been more connected to, should not have been so easily thrown aside like so much trash. I really hope they address this on the show. If not, like I said, I'll probably be tuning out.

[xaipw.livejournal.com]

ILU
And I agree with you.
I also wonder if maybe there wasn't a little bit of "tough love" in that statement too. I think Wilson knew that he would have to say something hurtful in order for House to truly understand the damage that's been done to their relationship. A bit like when someone tells a jilted lover "I don't love you anymore", even though they do.


A song for our boys: