DVD Commentary 1/3
May. 11th, 2007 01:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deelaundryWelcome to the DVD commentary for “Around the World and Back Again,” which was written for the ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
remix_redux challenge. The original story was Singapore by thedeadparrot.
remix_redux challenge. The original story was Singapore by thedeadparrot.Going into it, I wasn’t sure how I’d handle remix, but knew that I didn’t want to do a simple POV switch. You know, switch a House/Wilson story from Wilson’s POV to House’s or vice versa. It’s been done excellently before, but I thought I should pursue more of a challenge.
It took me ages, and a lot of angst, before I decided which of thedeadparrot’s fics to remix. I love the style of all the fics, which is so evocative and lyrical, and different from my own. The BSG fics I put aside immediately because I don’t know enough about that universe to do them any sort of justice. (You don’t need to know a thing to read them, though, so anyone reading this definitely should. thedeadparrot's House fics are all here.) I thought about Silent Sigh, and moving it to spring. I thought about Simple Things, but as gorgeous as it is, I’m not sure I fully understand everything floating under the surface. (Things to Do Before You Die, and all of the “The One Where” fics weren’t there at the time, more’s the pity.)
thedeadparrot’s fics to remix. I love the style of all the fics, which is so evocative and lyrical, and different from my own. The BSG fics I put aside immediately because I don’t know enough about that universe to do them any sort of justice. (You don’t need to know a thing to read them, though, so anyone reading this definitely should. thedeadparrot's House fics are all here.) I thought about Silent Sigh, and moving it to spring. I thought about Simple Things, but as gorgeous as it is, I’m not sure I fully understand everything floating under the surface. (Things to Do Before You Die, and all of the “The One Where” fics weren’t there at the time, more’s the pity.)In the end, despite the length, I chose Singapore, the one with the most action. (No, that is not an entendre, perspi.) And it was H/W, and I did a simple POV switch: Wilson’s POV to House’s. Oh, well, best intentions. I'm more than pleased with how it came out.
perspi.) And it was H/W, and I did a simple POV switch: Wilson’s POV to House’s. Oh, well, best intentions. I'm more than pleased with how it came out.Title: Around the World and Back Again (Grace Jones’ Polar Opposite Remix)
The title is a rather blatant statement on the contents of the fic (with an implication of coming full circle, which House does, from confident to slightly insecure to confident again), but I like the subtitle.
Y’all know who Grace Jones is? A singer/celebrity in the early 80s, she was tall (5’11”) and angular with a deep voice, and adopted a very masculine, dominating style and persona. Gorgeous but scary. I suppose you could argue Wilson’s not her polar opposite, but it’d be a close thing. Plus “polar opposite” goes back to the around the world theme.
Summary: “Why are you hauling your butt halfway across the globe for a three-day conference you’re not even speaking at?”
Summary was the last thing I wrote and this quote from House seemed to fit the bill.
Rating: NC-17
Notes: Thank you to daisylily, for the beta and nightdog_barks, for telling me to shut up and keep writing. No spoilers. Neither this nor the original story has anything at all to do with the Singapore trip in Episode 3-18. I am highly annoyed with TPTB. thedeadparrot thought of it first – they couldn’t pick somewhere else?
daisylily, for the beta and nightdog_barks, for telling me to shut up and keep writing. No spoilers. Neither this nor the original story has anything at all to do with the Singapore trip in Episode 3-18. I am highly annoyed with TPTB. thedeadparrot thought of it first – they couldn’t pick somewhere else?One note as I look at Nightdog’s name: I had huge self-doubt when writing this fic. Daisylily was supportive as always, but I needed a second opinion. As I said in my email at the time: “The problem I'm hitting now is that I'm not sure I'm doing anything particularly interesting here. It'd be a shame if the remix didn't live up to the original - don't want to let thedeadparrot down.” As the note says, Nightdog told me to quit worrying and keep writing. I’m very glad she did. (More on that at the very bottom of this commentary.)
In talking about remix, many remixers said they rarely reuse dialogue from the original fic. I found this shocking, and then had to laugh at myself. Dialogue is the story for me (literally, sometimes), and I couldn’t imagine how you could tell the same story while changing the words that came out of the characters’ mouths.
So if you look closely, you’ll see that I didn’t change any of the original dialogue at all, other than summarizing it in a few small spots.
I did add entire new scenes, and expanded some things that had been summarized in Singapore, so that allowed me to write new dialogue. (Happy!)
Words: 6123
Words originally written by thedeadparrot (primarily dialogue): 1031
thedeadparrot (primarily dialogue): 1031They’re in the cafeteria when it happens. Wilson looks up from his lunch – and it really does take him an extraordinarily long time to prepare his lunch before he eats it every day. It’s only a sandwich, for Christ’s sake; how much fussing could it need? House is half-done with his whole meal, and Wilson still hasn’t even breathed in the fumes of his first bite. It’s why House steals Wilson’s food. Leave it up to Wilson and they’d still be sitting there come dinnertime.
This opening concept is brought to you by the scene in Spin (ep 2-6), in which House & Wilson see Mark & Stacy in the cafeteria. The scene goes on for a long time (five minutes? Eight?) and Wilson spends the whole time futzing subtly with his meal but never eating any of it. I found it amusing.
But anyway, Wilson looks up, tiny salt packet dribbling grains that glint in the light, and his expression is wry, and he’s countering some point House barely remembers making, and it’s then. House decides.
He’s going to go on the longest booty call of his life.
The single sentence paragraph is so fun. It calls such attention to its subject.
Also, technically I suppose a ‘booty call’ is when you call someone on the phone in order to have no-strings-attached sex with them, but I like the sound of the phrase so much that I went ahead and used it here just to mean ‘calling on’ someone, in the old-fashioned sense, to have no-strings-attached sex with them.
“Why Singapore?” he asks loudly.
“What?” Wilson replies with his mouth hanging open. Sometimes he leans into the turns with House, and sometimes he flips off the bike. House steals his sandwich and takes a huge bite, and Wilson’s salt suddenly breaks free and splashes on his plate like snowflakes on a winter pond.
The snowflakes on a winter pond simile is a direct homage to thedeadparrot– there’s no way I would’ve thought of that without having just read all her work. I like it, even though it’s not actually a good simile because snowflakes don’t splash, but eh. Apologies as well for jamming two unrelated metaphors into the same paragraph (although I also like the motorcycle-conversation one, and think it’s much more parallel).
thedeadparrot– there’s no way I would’ve thought of that without having just read all her work. I like it, even though it’s not actually a good simile because snowflakes don’t splash, but eh. Apologies as well for jamming two unrelated metaphors into the same paragraph (although I also like the motorcycle-conversation one, and think it’s much more parallel). Wilson manages to throw a pinch of salt over his shoulder and grab his sandwich back at the same time. “Mine,” he snaps, almost growls, and the giddy feeling in House’s esophagus is the sweet icing on the cake, the last unneeded test confirming the diagnosis they’ve already started treatment for.
Two metaphors again, but at least they’re metaphors for the same thing.
One of my key beliefs about H/W is that House hates when Wilson is a doormat. So Wilson getting assertive in reclaiming of the sandwich (which he should’ve done with his PBJ in Finding Judas (3-9) revs House’s engine.
“Why are you hauling your butt halfway across the globe for a three-day conference you’re not even speaking at?”
One tip given for approaching a remix was to look at a story and see what questions remained open in it. The question of why they went all the way to Singapore was one for me. Wilson says in the original fic that it’s so they can “show off” House, which seems reasonable, but even Wilson doesn’t know why House so readily agreed. So of course my mind went to House’s seduction of Wilson having been pre-planned, and I decided to show when and how House made that decision.
Wilson glares and turns the sandwich around, chomps off a corner cleanly. “My re-certification’s coming up; I need the CME credits. And Singapore is where the International Congress on Myeloproliferative Diseases and Myelodysplastic Syndromes is taking place this year.”
The original fic also doesn’t quite explain why Wilson went. I decided to make it a cancer conference, and for Wilson to need the CME (Continuing Medical Education) credits as part of his medical re-certification. There really is an International Congress on Myeloproliferative Diseases and Myelodysplastic Syndromes, but they’ve never met in Singapore. Maybe next year!
“Because you’re so into hematology.”
“My department has –”
I wish the show would tell us what kind of oncologist Wilson is, because there are several different subspecialties. For the purposes of this, I decided Wilson was not a hematologist. I kind of think he’s a radiation oncologist, but I don’t know why.
“Not your department, you. Patel’s your top blood disorder expert – she’s almost fetishistic about it – but you’re not sending her.” House musters all of his considerable store of skepticism and then crams the whole of it into one elevated eyebrow. “There are hundreds of classes you could take in New York or Philadelphia, and thousands you could take online, on subjects nearer and dearer to your tumor-loving heart. But you choose to go to Singapore. Why?”
Wilson shrugs and keeps chewing. A bit of sandwich tries to escape but Wilson re-captures it with the tip of his tongue. House shifts in his seat and shakes his leg, although it wasn’t his leg that twitched at that sight.
Daisylily liked that paragraph. Me too. Wilson with his tongue darting out – yummy.
“Networking,” Wilson finally says, and House has to hold back from shuddering. “Always good to make new contacts, be seen, and get a new perspective on what’s happening out there. And there are some extra funds available in Oncology’s travel budget, so why not?”
“Your department has a travel budget?”
Wilson sighs and grabs a chip. “Yes, House.”
“Does my department have a travel budget?”
Sneaky little fact nobody noticed but me: I typically use underlining to emphasize words (italics for foreign words, and people’s thoughts), but apparently no one else on LJ does. So halfway through writing the fic, I went back and changed all those underlining to italics, to “disguise” myself. Then, as I said, no one noticed.
“Yes, House.” The chip goes in the forlorn mouth, and the sweetly despairing eyes sweep downward.
“Why didn’t I know I had a travel budget?” It’s all a bluff, of course; House knows his department budget to the penny, not that he pays it any mind when there’s something he really wants.
Some things House doesn’t pay attention to; some things he pretends not to pay attention to because he doesn’t want to bother dealing with them. Firm belief of mine.
“Because you don’t pay attention to these things,” Wilson replies, in his indulgently exasperated manner, and that’s the payoff House was looking for. It’s the expression that says that House is a naughty boy but Wilson loves him anyway. Platonically, of course.
I miss that expression of Wilson’s. It came out a lot in Season 1 and Season 2, but not so much in Season 3. Boo.
Wilson continues, “I do your annual budgets and your monthly recaps, and my assistant does your expense reporting.”
“So, how’m I doing on travel this year? No, wait. I don’t give a damn about this accounting crap, as you well know, but I seem to have heard something about use it or lose it. If I didn’t know I had a travel budget, and therefore wasn’t using it, how come Cuddy hasn’t snatched the money back?”
‘Use it or lose it’ is a big concern of people who manage budgets. You don’t want to overspend, but if you under-spend, the higher-ups decide you didn’t really need that much, and they give you less the following year.
The cookie on Wilson’s tray looks decidedly uneven; House breaks off three ragged chunks to make it more symmetrical. That the pieces end up in House’s mouth is beside the point.
I’m not sure what this paragraph means exactly, but this was the excuse my great-grandmother always gave for snacking off serving dishes before everyone was ready to eat. “I need to make the plate tidy.”
“Because,” Wilson is saying, “A, Cameron, Chase, and Foreman actually do travel, and B, I get Genevieve to re-class your expenses from other categories, so it all evens out. What are you charging to Office Supplies, anyway?”
Stole the twin ideas of Wilson’s assistant doing House’s expense reporting and House charging inappropriate things to Office Supplies from another fic of mine (Commitment). It makes me laugh.
House looks away, across the cafeteria, and smirks. “That’s a subject I think you want plausible deniability on. So let’s discuss Travel instead – any funds left there for Diagnostics?”
“Some.” There is no curiosity in Wilson’s voice at all, and suddenly House is pissed.
“You’ve talked me into it, then.”
“Talked you into what… reviewing your budget?”
“May the saints forfend. Singapore, baby. Needle Vardiman on his bone marrow histopathology diagnostic theories, brush up on my Mandarin, grab some soon kway and mee siam at a food court, and get CME credits to boot. What’s not to love?”
Four points here:
1) “May the saints forfend” is an actual phrase meaning “heaven forbid,” but MS Word has never heard of the word “forfend.”
2) I Googled to find an actual doctor doing diagnostic work in cancer research, so that House would have actual medical connection to the conference. Dr. Vardiman and his bone marrow histopathology diagnostic theories seemed to fit the bill.
3) The original fic had Wilson eating dumplings and noodle soup later on; a quick trip to Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuisine_of_Singapore) and I picked out soon kway and mee siam as the dishes.
4) I have no idea if House would actually get CME credits for this conference – it seems kind of a stretch for either of his specialties. But eh, I was tired of researching into something they’d both get credit for.
1) “May the saints forfend” is an actual phrase meaning “heaven forbid,” but MS Word has never heard of the word “forfend.”
2) I Googled to find an actual doctor doing diagnostic work in cancer research, so that House would have actual medical connection to the conference. Dr. Vardiman and his bone marrow histopathology diagnostic theories seemed to fit the bill.
3) The original fic had Wilson eating dumplings and noodle soup later on; a quick trip to Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuisine_of_Singapore) and I picked out soon kway and mee siam as the dishes.
4) I have no idea if House would actually get CME credits for this conference – it seems kind of a stretch for either of his specialties. But eh, I was tired of researching into something they’d both get credit for.
Screw symmetry; House crams Wilson’s entire cookie into his mouth, crumbs flying. He thinks of the voracious appetite of the blue-furred googly-eyed beast from Sesame Street, and wonders if it’d be any good at fellatio. Enthusiasm, yes, but no technique, he decides. And of course the damn thing doesn’t have lips, so that’d be a definite problem. This leads him inevitably to check out Wilson’s mouth, and he catches the tail end of a smile Wilson is trying to smother.
I apologize to anyone whose childhood memories of Cookie Monster are disturbed by images from this paragraph.
House has been suckered into grabbing what Wilson wants him to take. He ought to be insulted; he really should rail. But House has his own motive, his own goal, and he can, just this once, cede the ego battle to win the libido war.
I’m proud of the rhythm and sounds of this paragraph. Reading it out loud it has a nice “mouth feel” to me. (E.g., the hard “t” in “ought” and “insulted”; the “r-l” of “really” and “rail”; and the “eed” echoed from “cede” to “libido.”)
JFK is crowded, and the security line is ridiculous. Wilson nags for the twentieth time that House ought to accept a wheelchair, and House is seconds away from whacking him on the shin when he realizes he doesn’t want to call attention to his cane’s weaponry potential. So he just grunts and glares and hikes his backpack higher on his shoulder.
It’s a fourteen-hour flight to Japan and a six-hour flight after that, and House is trying not to think of what it’ll do to his leg. He’s double-dosed on Vicodin, and Wilson has morphine in his bag – and won’t that be fun to explain to the security personnel – but he’s still not relishing the thought. You better not have a pencil dick, House thinks, but then Wilson looks at him, eyes soft and solicitous, and jabs House hard in the back to make him move up in line. House has to cover his smile under a cough.
Thedeadparrot established that H & W went through Tokyo to get to Singapore. I used Orbitz to determine what airport they’d leave from and how long it would take.
The phrase “pencil dick” has always made me laugh. In this case, it also provoked a discussion between Daisylily and me on whetherHouse would have, in a doctorly way or at the urinal, already seen Wilson's penis. After consultation with my technical expert on all things male (i.e., my husband), we decided he probably had seen Wilson's flaccid penis, but couldn't really tell from that how long and thick it'd be erect.
Once again, I think House likes assertive Wilson. So the combination of soft eyes and a hard jab remind House how great Wilson is.
Wilson sleeps almost all the way to Tokyo, and House resents him for it, until he notices the way Wilson’s eyelashes drape across his skin. They’re eyelashes, little tiny things, and there’s no way they can possibly drape, but they do. House watches the terrible movie, and the terrible “original” programming, and the next terrible movie, and paces relentlessly, and bitches at the flight attendants, and tries not to think about it. He jacks off in the tiny bathroom, dick strangling in rough tissues there to catch his come, and imagines falling into the ocean.
Don’t know where the eyelash thing came from (although I think Wilson’s are pretty). I flew Los Angeles to Tokyo, and that is a long, boring flight. House should’ve tried to sleep, but he didn’t. Also, that is my favorite masturbation scene I’ve ever written. There’s something going on underneath in that language but I don’t even know what it is.
In Narita Airport, Wilson sleeps again, and House almost resents him for it, until he notices the way Wilson’s form is twisted. His back’s going to twinge and ache when he wakes up. House is filled with a smug satisfaction – that’s what Wilson gets for not entertaining House.
“Not entertaining House” is a high crime in House’s mind, only slightly lower down than “refusing to give House his drugs.”
Wilson sleeps again on the plane to Singapore. House is tempted to bother Wilson, and then tempted to molest Wilson, but ultimately he surrenders to the warmth and the drone and the weight of his eyelids, and tucks his head into Wilson’s shoulder for sleep.
When he wakes, Wilson makes a perfectly delivered crack about midget circus and lesbian porn. House is delighted to play along and demands to know why Wilson didn’t inform him.
“Sorry,” Wilson says, but he’s not even bothering to make his voice sound sorry.
This is the first line I took directly from the original fic. Now might be a good time to describe how I wrote this fic. I copied the original into a Word doc, and started writing the remix. Once I caught up in timeline to the original, I would go scene by scene, reading the original and writing the new, pulling dialogue up everywhere it occurred. Then I’d delete that scene from the original and move on to the next.
House leans back in his seat. They’re almost there, and it’ll be bliss to get off the damn plane, stretch his legs, and breathe real air.
For the moment, he’s only thinking about getting there, instead of getting some.
This line now makes me groan. “Getting some,” how lame.
Continued in the next post.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-11 05:47 am (UTC)Me, I think it's the 'falling into the ocean' which reminds me of the whole Icarus thing, like he's taking the risk of 'flying too close to the sun' (literally) by taking this trip to seduce Wilson. Of course, I may be imagining this :)
(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-11 09:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-10 10:46 pm (UTC)And House wondering about Cookie Monster's prowess just CRACKS ME UP. :D
(no subject)
Date: 2007-07-11 12:10 am (UTC)