Can't Always Get (NC-17)

[deelaundry]

Posted to house_wilson and housefic

Title: Can't Always Get
Author: Dee Laundry
Pairings: Wilson/OC, Wilson/Cuddy, House-Wilson UST/friendship
Rating: NC-17
Words: 967
Warnings/Notes: A little bit dark, with a very special screwed-upness in the House-Wilson friendship. Spoilers for "No Reason" and "Meaning." Also, presumes that Wilson did not have sex with Grace, despite moving in with her.
Special Note: Handcrafted for the talented and lovely fallen_arazil.

James Wilson is unsure when being a slut for House

wanting him with an exquisite ache
developing excuses to be around him
being the mother hen just to have an exclusive role in his life

turned into being a slut for House

Demetra, Susan, Kendra: recounting every detail
Michelle, Jean: on tape for House to watch later
Alan, or possibly Alex: in a back booth at Bump with House right there, no more than two feet away
Nina, Ben, Gail: videotaping again, on House’s bed, his couch, the bench of his piano – the sights and smells of House everywhere but the man himself in a bar around the corner, waiting

and still Wilson doesn’t get what he wants

no touches from House
no kisses with House
no permission to map House’s skin, catalog his moans, discover exactly what his morning breath tastes like

When House is shot, Wilson is devastated that there may never be a chance. He turns for solace to the only one who might remotely understand, in a soft yellow room with no cameras. By the time they cross the threshold, he’s already learned what she tastes like and the light or the scent or perhaps her soft skin drives all thought of House from his mind.

For the first time since Julie – but oh, House was on his shoulder every minute then too – there’s only one other person in the room when Wilson has sex. Between the eighth kiss and the slow slide of her thong down legs he didn’t realize were quite that long, he’s become James and she’s Lisa, and it feels so goddamn good.

Her hands clutch at his hips, rub his back, scrape his neck, and suddenly this has become making love. He doesn’t know when that happened, but it’s warm and right and he feels he might cry. James closes his eyes against this possibility, although the ruby of her lips and the sweep of her lashes has been enthralling him, and thrusts harder.

Wilson’s learned a lot about women’s bodies but she boldly teaches him to know hers

the pressure to apply on her breasts
the spot to kiss on her neck
the tempo to stimulate her clit

He’s lost in his pleasure, and her orgasm surprises him, clutches at him. He opens his eyes, wanting to memorize the expression on her face, and catching just the last bit. She’s silent, which he never would have anticipated, but it drives a moan from him to see her so satiated. His orgasm, a moment later, is almost an afterthought to him.

They sleep tangled in each other.

Every day of House’s ketamine coma Wilson spends at his side, having his staff bring in files, and paperwork, and a phone. He gets a lot done without House actively distracting him.

Every night of House’s ketamine coma James spends in that soft yellow room with Lisa and no one else.

House wakes up with a smile on his face, and Wilson has to remind himself to smile back. He spends the next week with House, getting badgered and bullied. There are other places he could be, but if the chick’s in the nest, Mama Hen’s gotta stay.

House kicks him out, goes to physical therapy, doesn’t call. Wilson thinks a lot, alone, in his apartment. He tries to reconcile Wilson and Cuddy with James and Lisa, but the pieces are

different shapes
different sizes
different colors
made from different substances, stone vs. paper

He’s about decided to put it all behind him as a dream when there’s a knock at his door. It’s Cuddy, or maybe it’s Lisa, or maybe he could call her Baby-doll. He remembers, thankfully, to yank the camera cords from the wall before she steps into any given room.

Equilibrium develops. He’s figured out the patterns, who they are at work, who they are away. One whisper in his ear sweeps that aside – “House comes back to work tomorrow.” She’s brought House into the bedroom, and he can’t look at her.

She smiles at him and treats him with more kindness than he deserves. As Lisa and James part for the last time late on Sunday night, Cuddy says, “Meet me in my office early tomorrow. We’ll pick his first case together.”

House jokes that heroin is the sixth level of happiness. Better than the tripe about love that Wilson was going to say.

On Wednesday, House corners him in his office. “Hand over the tapes,” he says.

“Surgery tapes?” Wilson replies, although he knows quite well that’s not what’s intended.

“It’s been weeks, Jimmy,” House breathes, “and you cut the Internet feed.”

Wilson looks into House’s face and tells his first lie since House was shot. “My new cleaning person did it by mistake. She’s got three kids; I couldn’t fire her just for that.”

Clear blue eyes, free of Vicodin dull, show that House believes him. “The tapes?”

Wilson sighs, just for show. “I haven’t been in the mood.”

“That,” says House, as he moves firmly into Wilson’s personal space without actually touching him, “is an outrageous claim.”

“And perfectly true,” he replies. The truth is setting him free, this time, because he most definitely was not in the mood to tape a single action, single word.

House stalks away. Can you stalk with a bounce in your step? Yes, you can, if you’re Greg House moving without a cane for the first time in years.

There will be a penalty of some kind for the lack of tapes, but Wilson’s not thinking about that now. He’s trying to conceive a scheme, a dodge, a hustle, to get House’s mind off the puzzle the lack of tapes represents.

When it comes to House, Wilson is a slut and Cuddy is a sucker, but Lisa and James deserve their peace.

Comments

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

Online and surfing; commenting here because I don't see it up yet on house_wilson.

This is great. Just absolutely so dark and so great. Frightening on many levels -- perfect voices and I can't say how much I loved the Wilson/Cuddy dynamic.

Wow.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thanks. This was a custom fic for fallen_arazil, so you and she must have similar tastes. Thanks as well for the rec on TWoP.

[anewlife.livejournal.com]

This? Was delicious. Definitely room for a follow-up fic, if you have it in you. Besides, Wilson should know the easiest way to get House's mind off the lack of tapes would be sex. ;)

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Wilson would love to distract House with sex (between the 2 of them) but House ain't buying...yet.

[purridot.livejournal.com]

I love stories where House and Wilson are irrevocably bound together, in whatever circumstances. It seems somehow very believable to have Wilson scramble to do House's bidding, always seeking his approval and affection, while simultaneously having to hide some of his life and feelings from him. And it seems very much like House to deny himself, to make everything more difficult than it has to be, to toy ruthlessly with the person who means the most to him. :-)

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks, I think you captured the dynamic I was going for very well! House is indeed making everything more complicated and toying quite ruthlessly with Wilson... Some people have said this shows dark!Wilson but to me it much more shows dark!House. Thanks again.

[savemoony.livejournal.com]

Thank You. Loved it.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thank you (even though tim gunn is telling me to stfu)! Any more on Spy Ficcie?

[savemoony.livejournal.com]

(But, see, it's *Tim Gunn* trying to you STFU, so it's all good. Because Gunn is just the man ;)) As for the Spy Ficcie, my damn computer crashed about three weeks ago (hence, my emo-ness and bitterness towards fandom) so that fic hasn't been touched since. Hopefully, my computer will be fixed soon.

And, you are very, very, welcome.

[fallen-arazil.livejournal.com]

Yay!

I've already told you that I adore this fic, but in case you forgot--I adore this fic. Dark!fic is possibly my favorite kind of fic, and I like the sense you get here that Wilson feels somewhat out of control, so he gravitates towards other people to control him--first House, and then, when House is unavailable, Cuddy.

Plus, slut!Wilson always brightens my day. ^_^

*uses Cuddy/Wilson icon because it's there*

~Djinn

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

It was all for you, darling, so if you're happy then I am 100% happy. Only for you would I write Cuddy/Wilson...

XOXO Dee

[sara-wolf.livejournal.com]

I love this. It's so dark and twisted. Although this: Can you stalk with a bounce in your step? Yes, you can, if you’re Greg House moving without a cane for the first time in years. made me smile.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Very twisted, particularly House. He's got his own kinda kink going on here. And thank you particularly for the comment on the "stalk" line - that came to me suddenly and just demanded to be put in. Thanks!

[asynca.livejournal.com]

I like experimenting with format, so you'd get a tick from me even if this SUCKED. Which it really, really doesn't.

As much as Wilson/Cuddy repels me, I can definitely tolerate it in the context of screwedupsoulmates!H/W.

Thanks.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm not a big fan of the Wilson/Cuddy either, but Djinn requested so I provided. Fortunately, this was the one circumstance I could see some hooking-up going on. (Unless it's threesome H/W/Cuddy, which is just all kinds of yummy.)

[asynca.livejournal.com]

Hee! OT3 is my next preference if I can't have H/W.

[fffaw.livejournal.com]

Holy Magoly! Whew. That was intense and dark, but oh so very good. You write Dark!Wilson so well (I'm thinking back to "Wilson the Great") This piece was solid.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

This was Dark!House too, using Wilson and not giving much back. Oh wait, I guess House does that a lot of the time. Thanks!

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

Ooooooooooh. That's very weird, but definitely in a good way (I read it this morning and couldn't quite decide what my reaction was, but I've pinned it down now).

I like a bit of dark!Wilson every now and again XD

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

This was a present fic for Djinn (fallen_arazil) so I hadn't sent it to you yet. It is definitely weird - kinky, you might even say. XD Thanks!

[daasgrrl.livejournal.com]

Fascinating. I liked it very much as an explanation for the Wilson/Cuddy dynamic. Also, that Wilson has difficulty reconciling all the different facets of his relationships. And that he's obviously still House's, no matter what he does.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Something had to have gone on during the break for the W/C dynamic to change so much. But no matter what, Wilson will always be House's. Yup. Thanks.

Fic: Can't Always Get

[secondsilk.livejournal.com]

Oh, gah.
I loved the lists in it. And Wilson being able to stand up just that much to protect someone else (even if it's him) from House. That it's perfectly true he hasn't been in the mood.
The idea of House not being in the room for once.
Oh, Wilson.

Re: Fic: Can't Always Get

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Wilson in this is aching and very scared of loss, but he finds that he can at last take one step (engineering the "humility" plan) to protect the memory of something special.

[leiascully.livejournal.com]

I do see what you mean, Dee. Tapes, dynamics. House is always there, isn't he?

I like this. Much more poetic than mine. More desperate. Fits the circumstances better.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

House just seems like he'd be the type to record. All the better to hold it over your head later. People lie but recordings don't - unless you doctor them (quit creeping me out, Cancerman).

Pshaw on your second paragraph. Your fic is mmmm, yummy and fits the prompt of OMG WRITE CUDDY PEGGING WILSON very, very well. Mine was a desperate and perverted attempt to make some sense of the weird relationship vibes going on at the beginning of S3.

PS. I skimmed the cajun food fic and remembered reading it before. Oooh, sexy and sneaky. That Cuddy's a little bit hotter for Wilson even as her heart still belongs to House.

[leiascully.livejournal.com]

Oh, House. You so crazy. And he'd watch them now and again on his own, just for memory's sake.

I'm glad you thought it fit the prompt! I had Cuddy telling Wilson to stop squirming for days before I wrote it down, and I was going to just make it a double drabble, but I'm glad I didn't. I think yours worked too. It gave them some dignity that mine didn't. S3 was so bizarre with the vibes.

Cuddy's hot for House, but she doesn't want to end up in bed between him and Stacy. Wilson's available and cute! And otherwise she would be very, very, very frustrated. *g*

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Oops, thought I had replied to your comment. In this fic, House is most definitely watching the tapes. Wilson is House's own personal porn factory, and it delights House to no end.

[nuclearfootball.livejournal.com]

Wow. Really all I can say in my current state. (It's a good "wow.") :)