Respite (PG)

[deelaundry]

Posted to house_wilson

Title: Respite
Author: Dee Laundry
Pairing: House/Wilson
Rating: PG
Words: 943
Summary: Wilson reflects.
Notes: Thank you to daisylily and fallen_arazil for the speedy beta. There is a sequel to this fic: Resolution.

Wilson was in pretty heavy denial about why he cheated on his wives, but he knows exactly why he cheats on House.

It’s not like he didn’t go into this relationship with his eyes wide open. He had over ten years of friendship and several bouts of cohabitation with House under his belt; he was not naïve. But it’s the day-to-day that grinds. The never-ending, never-changing present, in which it’s always Wilson’s turn.

Cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, bills – it all falls to Wilson. He put up a fight at first, determined not to be the “wife.” But really there’s no hope; if Wilson doesn’t see to it, it doesn’t get done.

They make good money, of course, between them, and it’s not like he doesn’t have help. There’s a twice-weekly maid, a once-weekly chef and takeout, pickup/dropoff service for the laundry, and the groceries are delivered. Still, it’s Wilson that has to arrange it all, manage it all, and fill in the gaps in between. It’s Wilson that has to pick the underwear up off the floor, and wipe the crumbs off the counter, and move the shoes so House doesn’t trip.

House picks up beer, if he thinks of it, and sends Wilson out if he doesn’t.

Sometimes Wilson wants to scream, “I have a job too, you know! In fact, I spend more hours working at my job than you do at yours.” But what would he get from that? House is well aware of Wilson’s job, and often, House is the one generating those extra hours, with real consults on critical cases and fake consults that are usually quite fun but completely ruin the flow of his day.

For example, Wilson’s a fan of handjobs, loves them, but when he’s finally managed to get that fantastic radiation oncologist from Sloan-Kettering on the phone, the one PPTH has been chasing for months, the one who’d make a great deputy department head and take some of the administrative burden off Wilson – the fingers disconnecting the line are not welcome, no matter where they intend to go next.

It’s not like Wilson didn’t sign up for this, like he didn’t know. But there’s knowing, and there’s experiencing, and the experiencing just sometimes gets to be too much.

He’s taken to lurking on Internet forums for working mothers, just to hear the war stories of other people who are there, who are overwhelmed, who know what he’s going through. Those forums have also, incidentally, become his favorite hunting grounds for people with whom to cheat on House. He never talks to them there, only lurks, except for that one week that he was Penny from Pittsburgh with the rebellious preteen named Conner and the twins Ashlyn and Chloe, but that got way too weird, and he’s really, honestly never wanted to be the wife.

He did want to have kids, when he was younger, and he’s even once or twice thought about bringing the topic up with House, but then he thinks, that’s three lives I’d have to run and it gets too exhausting to make it any further than the back of his mind.

So even though he’s got no kids, he lurks on the working mother forums to hear the stories and not feel so alone, and then he follows the smartest of the women over to other, more general interest forums and introduces himself there. He’s usually Neil on the Internet, a name he’s always admired, though he can’t really remember why. One time he was Greg, and that was particularly embarrassing when it slipped past his lips inadvertently during sex, but better to be a complete narcissist than a craven AC/DC cheater, he supposes.

Of the working mothers, Amy’s been his favorite so far. She was so damn bright, so literate and articulate, and enragingly stifled as a full-time homemaker and part-time wage slave. He met her in Boston one weekend, when she had a “gals’ weekend away” and he had an actual seminar on alternative theories in oncology research. It’s a good thing he’s a fast reader, because he missed every last one of the lectures, and had to read everything on the plane ride home in case House wanted to discuss anything that had been covered. So then, of course, House didn’t; he just bitched about screwing something up on TiVo and how the new laundry service wasn’t working out worth a damn. Not that House had any ideas about other laundries they could try. Wilson had begged off with a headache that night for the first time in his life.

There are good days of course, a whole hell of a lot of them. Nobody in the world makes Wilson feel the way House does, and he’s certain, most days, that he’s finally got his true bashert, his soul mate.

It’s just that it takes so much to keep their lives running, and it’s Wilson on the treadmill, Wilson as the ringmaster, the lion tamer, the juggler with way too many balls in the air. G-d has infinite capacity but Wilson doesn’t, and he just gets so damn tired of doing it all and never being the one that’s taken care of.

It’s like he tells the family members of his patients: What you’re doing is demanding, and it’s easy to forget your own well being as you become so involved with meeting your loved one’s needs. You need time off to relieve stress and prevent burnout. By taking respite where you can find it, you’ll be able to shoulder your responsibilities with as much strength and love as possible.

That’s the theory he’s working under, anyway.

Comments

[axmxz.livejournal.com]

Wonder how House will react when he finds out?

[purridot.livejournal.com]

[reposted because I can't seem to type this morning... geez]

Normally I get mad at Wilson for cheating but I have to say, there was a truthfulness and desperation about this story that made me feel sorry for him. I can quite easily see House being a selfish, thoughtless handful. They need a Jeeves! (And if I can grab that claim for hw_fest, they'll get one...)

[inlaterdays.livejournal.com]

Poor Wilson. Wonderfully written, as always.

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

Ow.

So like how it could really be -- I agree with caerulea_cat about House being a selfish, thoughtless partner. He's so busy charging ahead with whatever he's doing there's no time for the mundane, day-to-day little things that make up a life.

And I loved it that Wilson calls himself "Neil." Very nice.

[skyblue-reverie.livejournal.com]

Oh. Oh. You have broken my heart. This is beautiful, but so painful. This is exactly what could happen. Wilson's hanging out on the working mother forums is completely appropriate, because House is in so many ways is a child, and forces Wilson to parent him in addition to being his lover.

And yet - and yet - using that as a justification for cheaing... it's just so wrong and yet so entirely Wilson at the same time. They are each as screwed up as the other.

The 'Neil' DPS reference was great, as was his calling out 'his own name' during sex - wonder what his partner's reaction was?

Anyway, this was utterly wonderful, so thank you so much for sharing it!

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I like this very much. House is so high-maintenance that it's no wonder Wilson reacts the way he does. "Gal's weekend away" indeed. Loved the DPS reference--and the names of the kids, I'm sure I saw in some MSTs somewhere. :-)

He may need to be needed, but he has needs too.The undercurrent of Wilson's desperation is tight as a bowstring, waiting to snap--nice job.

[neral-idazmi.livejournal.com]

So awesome.

[jynx.livejournal.com]

Hey this is pen/savemoony. I'm logged onto my friend's name -- I was just supposed to check my email, but I saw you posted and, OMGZ. Couldn't resist.

Loved this, very realistic, very unfornuate too. I thought it was wonderful balance between OMGHOUSEGROWUP and True Love. Because if Wilson didn't love House, he wouldn't have put up with that shit. As for the cheatin? Oi. What can you do?

[genagirl.livejournal.com]

That would get old fast, wouldn't it? Poor Wilson - and I liked it as an excuse for his cheating. I would think House would know he'd being cheated on - he's House after all. But Wilson always takes it - his "You're as God made you" statement really said a lot to me.

[babykid528.livejournal.com]

That was wonderful! I especially loved the DPS reference! ^_^ Bravo!

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Love this. Fast-paced, which reflects Wilson's hectic life; illustrates his frustration without resorting to angst; shows how much of a selfless jerk House can be; and posits a convincing mix of emotions that explains both why Wilson loves him and why he can't stand to be in a relationship with him. The phone cord and soulmate comment are my two favorite examples of this. Like I was telling simple__man in the Five Things fic he posted today, it's nice in a horrible sort of way to see H/W depicted in a less-than-healthy light. This is the relationship that you imagine would grow out of the people we see in the "odd couple" phase last season. House would never stop pushing, and Wilson would remind himself that he knew what he was getting into. And the end is just lovely.

[daasgrrl.livejournal.com]

That just made me sad. I've always thought it'd be interesting to see how they cope with the day to day stuff, but it seems to be something rarely handled in fanfic. I think part of it is that Wilson wants his life his way, with all the ironed shirts and decent food and stuff and House just really... doesn't care. I'll just go off and mope now.

[saara-zaara.livejournal.com]

Some theory! Poor Wilson - you write him so well, the pacing on this was great!

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

This fic brings to light one of the biggest problems that House/Wilson would face, whether it became canon or just in fandom in general: that House would do nothing. It's not hard to see Wilson having to fight for House to do his share -- look at what he did in the episode where House hid the dirty dishes in the *oven*. House claims to have started the prank war in order to get Wilson to fight back, but how easy would it be for House to simply let Wilson do *all* of the work?

House, of course, would expect Wilson to cheat, but at the same time, I don't think House would expect Wilson to cheat because of *this*. He'd expect Wilson to go for blonde and tits, not for someone who doesn't *demand* from Wilson. Each time that Wilson's cheated, if we go by the show, Wilson's done it out of a weird, semi-compulsive need to be needed. He's slept with patients before, and I'm sure he's slept with patients' relatives or nurses or whoever.

But yes, I liked how this fic was written. I feel sorry for Wilson, and it would be very interesting to see House feel hurt, possibly betrayed by Wilson's infidelity, but at the same time, have House see *why* the cheating happened in this instance, and react to it.

I'm fairly sure that when House was with Stacy, Stacy never let him get away with dumping it all on her -- part of the easy banter between them was probably half-serious, with topics ranging from who was going to cook to what they were going to do about house payments, or whatever. Wilson, otoh, seems to let House walk over him because he did that when he divorced Julie, and House is just continuing a pattern.

:)

[gardendoor.livejournal.com]

Wow. And the heartbreaking thing is, that's so the way his mind works. I totally bought this.

[photoash.livejournal.com]

One of my favorite Dear Abby comments was about cheating and how nobody should tell someone else their spouse is cheating on them because they already know... it's just if they want to *see* it or not.

Personally the older I get I can see how it would be possible to turn a blind eye ot certain truths depending on your feelings and where you are in life... I think House would be willing to turn a blind eye to Wilson's infidelity if it's not infringing on House's daily life and Wilson isn't getting into relationships... I mean Wilson is a serial cheater House knew what he was getting into in this relationship too ...