Back Around, Hi!
Jan. 30th, 2010 01:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deelaundryHi, I'm back. Offline issues are not totally taken care of, but duct tape has been applied (not a metaphor) and we're good for now.
Questions were raised in the past few weeks about how I moderate discussions that happen on my LJ. My approach has been, as described in my profile: "This journal is written by an adult, intended for people who (in general) think like adults. It includes material labeled as NC-17. It includes grown-up conversations about grown-up things. Children will likely find the content boring and are encouraged to go elsewhere."
So, if two (or more) people get into a back-and-forth, my thought has been, "They're adults; I'm going to leave them to work it out between themselves." This is for two reasons: 1) to respect them as individuals, and 2) because I'm not skilled in mediation. Pretty poor at it, in fact. I mis-read situations and tone, and bring my own emotion into situations where it has no place. I also can't process emotion as quickly as most people; I need to think about it.
I can see where that approach has caused or fostered animosity. On the other hand, anger is a legitimate emotion, too, that is often well-deserved.
With that in mind, I'm going to take a new approach to moderation on my LJ.
Personal insults to a commenter on my LJ are not allowed. If I think a conversation includes a personal insult, I will screen comments and ask the person/people involved to re-consider or take it elsewhere.
Note: Saying "Your comment is wrong because XYZ" is not personal. Saying "You're an idiot for thinking that" is personal. Saying "That is sexist!" is not personal. If the person responds, "It's not sexist!" that's not personal, either.
Generalizations will not be considered personal, unless specifically aimed at someone you know is in that group (or so egregious as to be considered hate speech). An example of a generalization might be "House/Wilson fans are so stupid; Fox will never make that crap canon." It's not personal so I won't screen it. But you should be prepared that I or someone else will challenge you on it. And if that discussion gets personal, then it'll be screened.
One last, very important thing: This is not a "Racists and Homophobes Get Out of Jail Free" card. If you think any type of person is worth less than any other, you are not welcome here.
Everyone else: ♥ ♥ ♥
Questions were raised in the past few weeks about how I moderate discussions that happen on my LJ. My approach has been, as described in my profile: "This journal is written by an adult, intended for people who (in general) think like adults. It includes material labeled as NC-17. It includes grown-up conversations about grown-up things. Children will likely find the content boring and are encouraged to go elsewhere."
So, if two (or more) people get into a back-and-forth, my thought has been, "They're adults; I'm going to leave them to work it out between themselves." This is for two reasons: 1) to respect them as individuals, and 2) because I'm not skilled in mediation. Pretty poor at it, in fact. I mis-read situations and tone, and bring my own emotion into situations where it has no place. I also can't process emotion as quickly as most people; I need to think about it.
I can see where that approach has caused or fostered animosity. On the other hand, anger is a legitimate emotion, too, that is often well-deserved.
With that in mind, I'm going to take a new approach to moderation on my LJ.
Personal insults to a commenter on my LJ are not allowed. If I think a conversation includes a personal insult, I will screen comments and ask the person/people involved to re-consider or take it elsewhere.
Note: Saying "Your comment is wrong because XYZ" is not personal. Saying "You're an idiot for thinking that" is personal. Saying "That is sexist!" is not personal. If the person responds, "It's not sexist!" that's not personal, either.
Generalizations will not be considered personal, unless specifically aimed at someone you know is in that group (or so egregious as to be considered hate speech). An example of a generalization might be "House/Wilson fans are so stupid; Fox will never make that crap canon." It's not personal so I won't screen it. But you should be prepared that I or someone else will challenge you on it. And if that discussion gets personal, then it'll be screened.
One last, very important thing: This is not a "Racists and Homophobes Get Out of Jail Free" card. If you think any type of person is worth less than any other, you are not welcome here.
Everyone else: ♥ ♥ ♥
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 07:16 pm (UTC)And this entry once again proves that you're a very considerate and kind as well as smart person.
♥!
Duct tape? O_O something was broken...
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 07:38 pm (UTC)Duct tape: Our main bathroom is basically falling apart and we haven't been able to pick out a contractor yet. Sigh.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 08:10 pm (UTC)If I see your muse around, I'll kick her back your way!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 07:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 07:35 pm (UTC)♥ ♥ ♥
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 07:17 pm (UTC)... duct tape has been applied (not a metaphor) ...
... um. Yikes?
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 07:39 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 07:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 07:44 pm (UTC)Why have I not yet seen Iron Man? It seems pretty darn awesome.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 11:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 07:26 pm (UTC)I hope it's okay, hon.
Also, glad you're back, and the new policy sounds very sensible.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 07:46 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 07:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 07:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 08:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 07:59 pm (UTC)*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 09:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 08:05 pm (UTC)I am sorry to hear of your home repair needs -- after just finishing a lengthy renovation on my own kitchen/bathrooms I can definitely offer my sympathy there! (and I don't even have kids - I can't imagine the hassle with kids involved!!).
:) Good luck I hope you find a great contractor and that the work can go quickly and that you don't uncover many hidden problems! (also if you are going the tile route they have expensive grout that doens't need sealing that resists mold and stains that I think might be worth the investment for shower tiles >_> after the horror I went through with the downstairs grout drying discolored and painting grout lines I went with the expensive grout for my backsplash and it's lovely )
*hugs*!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 08:19 pm (UTC)Sorry to hear about the bathroom issues. *passes a box of industrial duct tape* I hope you get it all sorted soon.
*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 08:19 pm (UTC)Sorry to hear about the bathroom problems, I know how overwhelming it can be. When I redid my house a few years back I was going to start with the bathroom. Trying to pick out showers and sinks and measuring and everything else became such a headache that I decided to start on the loft instead. By the time I got back to the bathroom I didn't have the money to replace the shower, sink, countertops and toilet. Just a new floor, lights and a coat of paint. One day I'll get it done!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 08:29 pm (UTC)Appreciate your new ground rules, but have a question. I'd like to understand why it is all right to say STFU to someone and not consider it personal? In a business environment it would not be acceptable. Even if the party spoken to wasn't offended, anyone overhearing it would have a right to report it to a supervisor as offensive and therefore inappropriate. Also, I fear language like that can be the first step toward escalating a conversation to where it goes out of control. Pretty much a noob to lj discussions, so I would like very much to be enlightened.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 09:32 pm (UTC)On the issue of saying "STFU," your question is a good one. I wouldn't say it (or type it) in a work-setting, nor would I type "GTFO" or "OMFG." On LJ, though, these types of initialisms are more common and have less heat than they would a) outside of LJ, or b) if spelled out into the words.
I'm going to take it out of my example above, though, as I don't want to encourage anybody to say rude things.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 09:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-30 09:40 pm (UTC)Although sorry your muse isn't! :(
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-31 02:21 am (UTC)Sorry about the shit that went on in your journal, hope I didn't contribute to it. I understand the need for the new policy, hopefully it will work better that way.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-31 02:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-31 03:36 am (UTC)Good luck with the duct tape!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-01-31 06:11 am (UTC)