HAPPY BIRTHDAY FICLET

[deelaundry]

It's Bironic's birthday today!

Guys, guys, guys -- she's even more marvelous in person than she is in her blog.

It's hard to imagine, isn't it?

♥ ♥ ♥

I wanted to write you a nice long fic today, bironic, but the boys wouldn't quite cooperate. This little ficlet was all I got from them.

Title: Houseguests
Pairing: House/Wilson (plus others)
Rating: R for implications

It was only because he happened to be walking by the foyer that House bothered to answer the door when the bell rang. (That was Wilson's job, permanently assigned after the man had had the impertinence to make a wholly spurious claim of House resembling Lurch from the Addams Family.) There was a blonde chick in yellow scrubs standing squarely on top of the Go Away mat.

"Yeah?" House asked of Cameron.

"You're not answering your phone," she replied.

"Excellent observational skills. Can't believe you quit my team."

The door was halfway closed when a patient file appeared between the door edge and the jamb. "This is really cool," Cameron said, having finally learned that appeals to his curiosity worked much better than appeals to his humanity. "And you have to let me use your bathroom or I'm going to pee on your doorstep."

House opened the door again. "I'd like to see you try."

Cameron rolled her eyes. "Of course you would, but I don't think either of our husbands would be inclined to let you watch."

"You'd be surprised what my husband will let me watch," House noted, and started to read the file as Wilson strolled up behind him.

"Allison, hi. I was going to call and see if you and Robert wanted to come over for drinks tonight. We have friends in from out of town, and I wanted to introduce them to some of the folks from the hospital."

Cameron's voice was starting to strain as she replied, "Sounds good, but right now can I use your restroom?"

"Oh! Sure." Wilson stepped back and pushed House back as well. The man was lucky -- and the blonde chick was, too -- that the case was actually interesting. House had mentally shot down a third theory and was working on a fourth when a short shriek echoed down the hall.

He looked up to see Cameron hustling back their way. "There is a, uh, a shirtless blindfolded man who is, um, handcuffed to the shower rod."

Wilson immediately began to look embarrassed, but House was just annoyed. "McKay!" he shouted, over Wilson's attempt to say something - apology? explanation? take-back of the drinks invitation? - to Cameron.

"What?" McKay yelled from the guest bedroom.

"Put your toys away when you're done with them!"

Emerging from the bedroom with a hairbrush -- nowhere near his hair -- McKay grumbled, "But I'm not done; that's the whole point; oh, hello, pretty blonde woman." He had spotted Cameron and stopped abruptly, with an approving smile.

"Rodney," Wilson sighed, and pointed toward the bathroom. "Your fiance?"

"Oh, yeah," McKay replied and headed that way.

After watching the door close, House looked at first Wilson and then Cameron. "So," he said, "eight o'clock for drinks?"

Comments

[bironic.livejournal.com]

\o/ \o/ \o/ OT4, with background bondage! McKay perking up at Cameron because she's blonde now! Etc!

Thank you for this bit of yummy! ♥ ♥

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Hee, I thought you might like this! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Thanks again!!

[hannahrorlove.livejournal.com]

Only being able to imagine the facial expressions is enough - they must be things of beauty. But what words would be enough to capture them? No, the Platonic ideal is plenty.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Yep, I didn't even try to describe the facial expressions -- as you said, there are no words adequate. But I figure the smarties on my f-list will be able to imagine for themselves. :D Thanks!

[layne67.livejournal.com]

LOL go away mat? How on earth did House manage to get Wilson to agree to that?

:D

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Wilson is not always as observant as he ought to be! :D Thanks!

[hibernia1.livejournal.com]

YAY!! Funny and sweet and it didn't make me cry!! Dee, you're awesome!

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

No, you're awesome! ♥ Thanks.

[green-koala-47.livejournal.com]

Bironic is so lucky - this is great!

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

So glad you liked it! Thanks.

[hwshipper.livejournal.com]

YAY that was brilliant and hilarious! Implications of foursome (& sixsome to come?) FTW!

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

YAY so glad you liked it! This is a sequel to "In for a Pound" but I didn't want to give away the surprise before you read it. :D Thanks.

[hwshipper.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you didn't spoil it! I was ecstatic when House shouted 'McKay!'

[primarycolors92.livejournal.com]

: | ...


HEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! House referring to Cameron as "blond chick" was hilarious. As was everything else :)

If I were Cam, I would be a little worried about bringing Chase over- she might not get him back!

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Hee, hee! Thanks.

[primarycolors92.livejournal.com]

Whenever did Cameron get awesome? I was thinking recently that she's become Crazy-yet-Cool Cameron, but she used to be Creepy-and-Crushing Cameron.

But I still miss the brown hair. Blonde Chase and Blonde Cameron together are a little frightening. It seems physically possible that they could give birth to Kim Bauer. Who is also blonde, and exceptionally stupid.

[jihime47.livejournal.com]

THIS FIC IS MADE OF WIN AND AWESOME.

_{Didn't know that House's apartment has a guest bedroom...}

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thank you! House's apartment in canon doesn't have a guest bedroom -- in this fic, they've moved to a slightly bigger place. : ) This is actually a sequel to my foursome fic "In for a Pound," but I didn't want to mention it so that the half-naked man in handcuffs would be a surprise. Hee.

[jihime47.livejournal.com]

Oooh... *goes to read that* OOOH. I approve of this foursome :3

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

more!! I shouldn't be the only person in this group who's written a House orgy!fic!!

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure there's more here, but orgy fic is pretty fun. I've written foursome before (as has hwshipper)... we'll see if I find the energy for more than four. :D Thanks.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I forget if you read mine. Seven people in that one.

[leakey-lover.livejournal.com]

Laughing from resembling Lurch to put your toys away. TY for much needed hilarity. LOVED blond chick too.

Did Cameron ever get to pee?

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I actually did think about that while writing: Wilson let Cameron use the master bathroom, which was half-naked-man-free. :D

[sara-tsuzuki.livejournal.com]

XDDDDDDDDD very good!!

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[xaipw.livejournal.com]

MCKAYYYYY!!!! <3

This was way too short...I wanted it to go on and on and...

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

bironic wrote a sequel (http://bironic.livejournal.com/187701.html)! Mmmmm. Thanks! *hugs*

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA XD

That's such fun - I love the 'Go away' mat, and poor Cameron needing to pee while House doesn't invite her in, and House as Lurch...

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Hee, hee, hee. I just remembered my very first Houefic had House thwarting Cameron's peeing, too. :DDD Thanks!

PS. Don't miss bironic's sequel (http://bironic.livejournal.com/187701.html) to this! Mmmmm.

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

I remember that fic very well - it's still one of my favourites XD

And now I see Cameron making that face when she finds McKay in the shower...

Thank you for sending me over to the sequel!

[magie-05.livejournal.com]

LOL that's awesome! I don't recognize the house guests but I LIKE them already :D And omg, have I ever told you how much I adore the way you write House? If I have, it's not enough: I adore the way you write House <3 <3 <3 <3

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Heh, I do enjoy writing this wryly amused, less angsty version of House. Nothing wrong with the more angsty version; I just find this one fun. :D The houseguests are Sheppard and McKay from Stargate Atlantis. This is actually a sequel to two porny fics I wrote with a foursome between House, Wilson, Sheppard, and McKay; and don't miss bironic's sequel (http://bironic.livejournal.com/187701.html) to this! Mmmmm.

PS. Don't know if you're in the market for a new fandom, but McKay/Sheppard (McShep) has a ton of awesome domestic fics -- and you don't have to know the show to enjoy the fics. You could ease into learning about SGA using Bironic's list of House/SGA crossovers here (http://community.livejournal.com/gate_house/tag/fic+list).

[remydoodle.livejournal.com]

HEEHEEHEE!!! Very Funny!!

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[bironic.livejournal.com]

Of course, now I can't stop thinking about how, maybe an hour later, John's turned sideways with his chained hands braced against the shower wall on either side of the curtain rod, one foot in the tub, knee bent, and the other on the mat on the floor, his elbows locked and the rest of him near to trembling because Rodney's sliding in and out of him so damn slowly, hands on his hips holding him steady, and Rodney's fingers are tangled up with Wilson's, because Wilson is on his knees in front of John and that's why Rodney is being so fucking fantastically frustratingly gentle, each careful thrust pushing him into Wilson's hot mouth, then pulling him back so they both slide free, cool air on his swollen dick and his ass still warm and surely mottled pink and red from their session with the hairbrush, filling covering hot pleasure yes and retreating, over and over again, and John is aching for it, sweat dampening the blindfold, breaths escaping as quiet moans high in his throat, and all he can do is feel—feel, and listen, as House gripes from somewhere near the sink that while this may be better than paying for the choice adult networks, next time they're doing this on a bed so House can take his ass while Rodney takes his mouth and Wilson can blow him again since he likes it so much, and along with the handcuffs maybe they'll cuff his ankles too and why not add a gag while they're at it, after Rodney's done that is, although it would be a shame to muffle those frankly hot moans John's making—and John's head teems with the fantasies House spins for them, heart pounding faster for all that he can't know which ones they'll actually decide to play out this time, and Rodney makes a tiny sound and thrusts hard and comes, and John's fingers curl against the tile and his foot slips just a little further in the tub, so close, and when Wilson presses a knuckle up behind his sac, Rodney still inside him, he sees white sparks and spills into Wilson's waiting mouth, and when he's done, barely paying attention to the sound of House and Wilson moving to finish each other off, he lets himself sag, trusting his weight to the bar because he's been assured it's a handicap installation and can hold far more than his skinny ass, but it doesn't matter anyway, because Rodney's there to catch him.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

AWESOME. This is exactly what happened next.

[ignazwisdom.livejournal.com]

ROFL. This was awesome :D

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :D

[inalaska2004.livejournal.com]

so much packed into such a small space. yummy. and made me laugh!

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

So glad you liked it! Thanks!