The Dirty Banana Drabble and a Half (R)

[deelaundry]

Some on my f-list have requested more fun in their fandom. So I offer to you:

THE DIRTY BANANA DRABBLE AND A HALF

originally prompted by evila_elf on housewilsonlol
House/Wilson, rated R

Wilson, you know the practicing on bananas thing is a myth, right?

You’re just jealous because Bernard’s bigger than you.

You name your bananas?

Just the special ones.

And you gave it a grandpa name because?

Bernard’s not a grandpa name! It’s a name for the bold… and the big. Ever wonder why they named that dog breed after Saint Bernard? It wasn’t because of how tall he was.

You’re making shit up now.

Mmm. Could you give Bernard and me a few minutes?

Hell, no. This is my kitchen, and I need to be in here to wake up. I need coffee, and the sports page, and – What are you – Holy crap.

Mmm.

You have no gag reflex at all, do you?

Bernard’s a good practice partner.

Later I’ll give him a motherfucking medal, but now practice time is over. Let’s go.

And your coffee?

Waking up is over-rated.