Heh. I love it that Jack is having a bar mitzvah. It's an indication of how much I like this story that I actually wondered about that in the previous chapter.
I love the development, I'm extremely happy that House and Wilson are still loving and affectionate after all these years, I like it that Jack is going to Michigan (our nephew is a Wolverine) ...
And I'm not going to say "but ..." because I don't like that. What follows is just my opinion, remember.
I feel like you're holding something back. That's perfectly okay; after all, this only the third out of five chapters. I think you've got a "Chekhov's gun" going on here -- the beating has been mentioned in greater detail in each of the 3 chapters, but the reader still doesn't know exactly what set it off, and since that incident seems to be the trigger for House's actions and the subsequent paths their lives take, I as the reader want to know more.
Chekhov said (in a very loose paraphrase) that if you show the audience a gun in the first act, it has to go off by the end of the play. To me, what happened in that bar ten years ago is your gun. Is it going to go off? (Don't answer that; it'd be a spoiler).
Anyway ... you did say you wanted my perspective. I'm sure you had no idea it'd be so ... long-winded. Or totally missing the point. Or whatever. Heh again. Remember, it's only my two cents.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-28 10:14 pm (UTC)I love the development, I'm extremely happy that House and Wilson are still loving and affectionate after all these years, I like it that Jack is going to Michigan (our nephew is a Wolverine) ...
And I'm not going to say "but ..." because I don't like that. What follows is just my opinion, remember.
I feel like you're holding something back. That's perfectly okay; after all, this only the third out of five chapters. I think you've got a "Chekhov's gun" going on here -- the beating has been mentioned in greater detail in each of the 3 chapters, but the reader still doesn't know exactly what set it off, and since that incident seems to be the trigger for House's actions and the subsequent paths their lives take, I as the reader want to know more.
Chekhov said (in a very loose paraphrase) that if you show the audience a gun in the first act, it has to go off by the end of the play. To me, what happened in that bar ten years ago is your gun. Is it going to go off? (Don't answer that; it'd be a spoiler).
Anyway ... you did say you wanted my perspective. I'm sure you had no idea it'd be so ... long-winded. Or totally missing the point. Or whatever. Heh again. Remember, it's only my two cents.