There Were Five Times (PG-13)

[deelaundry]

Posted to house_wilson and housefic

Title: There Were Five Times
Author: Dee Laundry
Characters: House, Wilson
Rating: PG-13
Words: 600
Summary: The first time they tried it, it was an unmitigated disaster.

The first time they tried it, it was an unmitigated disaster. Wilson expected it to be like marriage, and House expected it to be like roommates at a frat house but slightly less homoerotic. The fights were epic and upset everyone around them until Wilson got his first-ever less than perfect performance review and House’s boss fired him.

Wilson let himself be “loaned” to Dana-Farber for a three-month pancreatic cancer clinical trial. House worked in a music store for two weeks and then saved the life of the illegitimate son of a major hospital donor.

House didn’t like the mousy skinny girlfriend Wilson brought back from Boston, but that was par for the course. They consulted on each other’s cases and ate lunch together every few days, and everything was back to normal.

***

The second time they tried it, there was some debate as to whether they were actually doing it. Wilson still had a house, after all, and a big over-made marriage bed with a skinny mousy wife sleeping in it. (House used to have a Stacy and a lot more muscle in his right thigh but they didn’t talk about those things, unless Wilson was asking him for a number on the pain scale but House could never remember which one meant soul-numbing agony.)

House put the cable bill in Wilson’s name anyway, because all you ever do is watch TV, you lazy son of a bitch, and Wilson rolled his eyes and dropped the laundry basket on the couch cushion next to House, your arms still work, fucker, on the way to the kitchen to check on the Stouffer’s lasagna.

House folded Wilson’s boxers in half instead of thirds, just to spite him.

***

The third time they tried it, Wilson showed up on House’s doorstep with a slightly cross-eyed puppy dog look and a single suitcase. He was wearing House’s scarf, filched the previous winter, and House let him in.

House expected it, once again, to be like fraternity brothers and proceeded accordingly. Wilson never said what he expected but he ditched House for a mousy skinny woman who caught herpes in the hallway of the hospital and went on to die a little more slowly than she had been before.

House was as God made him and Wilson’s stupid move never caught up with him. Things went back to normal, the occasional psycho stalker – gunman, smitten teen, obsessed cop et al. – notwithstanding.

***

The fourth time they tried it, Wilson bought a spacious two-bedroom condo and House moved in. The place was perfect, with space for the piano and a million bookcases and pre-wired for entertainment devices and a kitchen to die for… everything either of them needed. They kept their own schedules and didn’t expect anything of each other.

It all went along fine, smooth sailing, until Wilson tripped into a bottle of Bombay Sapphire and couldn’t swim back to the surface. House insisted that the living arrangements had nothing to do with it, but nevertheless when Wilson got back from rehab the piano was gone and the outgoing message on the answering machine had been reset to the default.

***

The fifth time they tried it, Wilson had finally let himself go gray at the temples and House’s eyes had gained a yellowish tint. It was one bed, one boring room, a tiny TV but with a million channels. Wilson hated the food and House bitched about the neighbors, but they were happy with each other and they made it all the way to ‘until death do us part.’ Twenty-one days later.

Comments

[warmdarkwoman.livejournal.com]

So of course I thought "buttsecks!" and then realized that you meant "living together." PWNED. XD

Four and five kill me. DED. Although I am hoping that five is when they're old and gray and House's liver has finally caught up with him.

This is a great example of a bunny that really works at a short length. Trying to stretch it out into a longer story would ruin in, I think.

A++++, would read again.

[poeia.livejournal.com]

The final line confuses me -- did one (both?) of them die 3 weeks after they became lovers? Are they in a nursing home?

I do like the fact that they had tried living together before "Safe." I think you've really captured how their dynamic works.

Your arms still work, fucker
I think this is why House's & Wilson's friendship works. Wilson doesn't treat House like a cripple.

like roommates at a frat house but slightly less homoerotic.
That had me snorting (very attractive, I know.)

[hannahrorlove.livejournal.com]

occasional psycho stalker
That's the best summary of the third season I've ever seen.

You don't have a lot in here, which means that it's not immediately obvious what you're talking about, but that's not a bad thing - once the realization hits, it's that much stronger for the reader.

I'm not sure what you mean by "one bed" in the last segment, though - don't most places like the one you're describing have two?

[jdr1184.livejournal.com]

House could never remember which one meant soul-numbing agony. Ouch

House folded Wilson’s boxers in half instead of thirds, just to spite him. *girly giggles

I don't think I've ever read any fics where Wilson becomes a drunk. Given his depression and his talent for screwing up his life it should be a surprise, but it threw me for a loop.

Is the fifth one a nursing home? It sounds like they died together. While I have a hard time imagining one living without the other, realistically Wilson would probaly outlive House barring any stray buses. I really like the feel of this fic, especially the way you bounce between the different times.

[purridot.livejournal.com]

This story sorta reminds me of a Möbius strip -- the guys seem to know, instinctively, that they need to be together, but it all gets twisted up; maybe because of their personalities, or maybe because of external events that affect them badly, or maybe because they can never admit until too late that their relationship needs to more, rather than less, homoerotic (if I'm reading the last one right and assuming the others were mostly platonic ;-)

Umm, I guess I'm making all sorts of assumptions, but that's just me. It's fun that you provide just enough images to get our imaginations all fired up.

I love how you wove canon and fiction together, especially the little details like the fact that Wilson was wearing House's scarf, and that they had tried being roomies first (but that Wilson didn't cook for him back then!).

[empressaurelius.livejournal.com]

D: This is both sad and sweet. Bittersweet, really, is the word I think I'm looking for. Poor Wilson, poor House. At least they got to be happy "together" for 21 days.

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

I like this a lot, even though it isn't what I was thinking it would be...

The ending reminds me the tiniest bit of My Fathers' Son, because they should be together for longer than that. *grump*

I love all the little touches in this - the summary of season three, "Your arms still work, fucker", "slightly cross-eyed puppy dog look". Gorgeous!

My favourite bit, even though it's really sad, is House used to have a Stacy and a lot more muscle in his right thigh but they didn’t talk about those things, unless Wilson was asking him for a number on the pain scale but House could never remember which one meant soul-numbing agony.

*beta hat* Can't see any typos ;D

[daisylily.livejournal.com]

Dangit, forgot the icon.

Have a lolly!

[phinnia.livejournal.com]

I think the second one is my favorite - the unspoken snipes are just awesome - and the last two are so sad but there's a thread of hope there, too, in that they just keep trying until the end.

[silsbee329.livejournal.com]

There are so many stories in this! I mean, you could read this ten times and imagine a multitudes of scenarios. Very rich... I really like this one.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Heh, pwned. You know me too well. : )

The fifth time is indeed some years in the future. I added a line to make that a bit clearer.

Thanks! A++++, excellent reader, speedy transaction and pleasure to work with. *love*

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

I added another sentence to the last section to make it a bit clearer (I hope!). It is a facility, and there was a death 21 days after they started living together there.

Thanks, too, for pointing out the lines you liked. It's helpful (and heartening!).

Wilson doesn't treat House like a cripple. - I'm thinking every time Wilson even hinted at treatment like that, he got the smackdown from House, and being a fairly intelligent man, he quit doing it. : )

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

At first when I wrote "psycho stalker" I was only thinking of Tritter, but then realized Ali and Moriarty fit that, too. So, I changed the line.

In a private room at a hospice or hospital, there'd only be one bed. I added a line to the last section that hints at a clarification.

Thanks!

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

I was a little surprised when Wilson turned alcoholic on me there, too. He got sober, though, and went back on his ADs.

I changed the last section - could you look and tell me if that makes it a bit clearer?

Thanks so much.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

It's fun that you provide just enough images to get our imaginations all fired up.

That's exactly what I wanted to do! Hooray that it worked! Also, I had to laugh when I realized how much this was hewing to canon. You know me, I'm a fantasy gal (How many of my fics say "Assumes S3 never happened"?). For example, the second part, as you pointed out, had to have a premade meal because otherwise House wouldn't have been surprised by Wilson's cooking in the Odd Couple arc. : ) I also wanted to explain why Wilson & Bonnie's first date was in Boston, even though he and House were seemingly friends in New Jersey before then.

Thanks!

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Wilson and House never quite seem to get in sync happily for too long, do they? I'm sure they had good times in between these bouts of cohabitation, though. Thanks!

[bironic.livejournal.com]

The ending reminds me the tiniest bit of My Fathers' Son, because they should be together for longer than that. *grump*

My thoughts exactly!

[bironic.livejournal.com]

*claps* I love short segments, and I love this -- so much so fast, and so prettily.

My onlyonly suggestion is actually to make this sentence more of a runon, like so: House put the cable bill in Wilson’s name anyway, because all you ever do is watch TV, you lazy son of a bitch, and Wilson rolled his eyes and dropped the laundry basket on the couch cushion next to House, because your arms still work, fucker, on the way to the kitchen to check on the Stouffer’s lasagna.

*love*

[recrudescence.livejournal.com]

I really like how spare the style is while still retaining so much depth (the store-bought lasagna, House's scarf, all the secondary characters who don't need to be named to be recognizable, etc.).

I skimmed this, had to run, then came back to comment, and I have to say the edit to the final vignette makes it even more poignant. Throughout the entire thing, I kind of wanted to throttle the guys for making everything so difficult for themselves, and by the time it ended I almost felt bad about it.

[jdr1184.livejournal.com]

It’s definitely clearer now and just the love the phrasing of Wilson finally letting his hair go gray. I’m sure it was traumatic for him, the poor baby, but at least he had House to cuddle with. I like that you have meanly decide not to tell us which one has died.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Well, how long they were together really depends on your interpretation and imagination. Twenty-one days was how long they were living together that fifth time. *smiles*

Thanks for the beta hat, too. Much appreciated on these quick fics.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thanks. They do keep trying, you're right, and finally they get it right. A little late, but they at least are willing to finally be happy.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much. That's what I was going for - a sketch where you could fill in your own details. Glad you liked it. (Love your icon!)

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Took your suggestion on the sentence and it does work much better.

PS. I love the word "onlyonly" and will be using it the next time I'm asked for concrit/beta.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

It was traumatic! House insinuated that maybe it was thinning too, but Wilson put that down solely to sour grapes. : ) Thanks!