deelaundry: man reading in an airport with his face hidden by the book (badfic all what?)
Dee Laundry ([personal profile] deelaundry) wrote2006-08-08 01:34 pm
Entry tags:

MST: You're Invited! to Chapter 2

Cuddy's 4th of July swim party, Chapter 2.  Immaturity, horrible swimwear, and naked breasteses, how fun.

Warning:  My will to refrain from slashing was completely beaten down by the inanity of this fic.  Just letting you know.


Foreman, Cameron, and Chase enter House's office.  Cuddy is sitting in House's chair.

Foreman:  *looking at the paper in his hand* The test results clearly indicate -
Chase:  *stopping short, acidentally knocking Foreman down*  Where are House and Wilson?
Cuddy:  Sleeping.
Cameron:  What?  It's 10:30 in the morning.
Foreman:  *getting off the floor; glaring at Chase*
Cuddy:  I'll re-phrase.  Ask me again.
Chase:  Where are House and Wilson?
Cuddy:  "Sleeping."
Foreman/Cameron/Chase:  Oh.
Cameron:  What are you doing here?
Cuddy:  House's office has the best scotch. *hic*  And I'm waiting for them to come back so we can finish this bad!fic.
Chase:  Am I in it?
Cameron:  Am I?


*pause*


All look at Foreman.
Foreman:  What would I ask for?  I know I'm not in it.
Cuddy:  None of you are yet. But it's a pool party fic, so since you all bring the young and hawt, I'm assuming you'll be in
there somewhere.  *hic*  What?

CHAPTER 2

The annoying sound of Cuddy’s doorbell rang. “DING” it chimed, it resembled the noise that an oven made when done baking its contents.

Foreman:  Cuddy, you make a lot of money.  You can't afford to have a new, non-annoying doorbell installed?
Cuddy:  I've been too sad since poor Fredo fell off my roof and then we cut off his hand.  We totally screwed him. *hic* And before I got a chance to screw him, too.
All but Cuddy: *stare*
Cuddy:  I have needs!  Shut up.


She walked over to the door and opened it Cameron was standing in the door way. Her model-ish figure no longer hidden in a lab coat.

Cuddy:  Mmm, it's a run-on but I don't care. *hic*
Cameron:  Model-ish?  Come on, author, either you're hot for me or you're not.

She was wearing a bathing suite that was blue and beaded, the shapes made flowers and butterflies. She had board shorts on though but Cuddy knew it was only a matter of minutes before she stripped them off. Boy was House going to miss out.

Chase:  Beaded flowers and butterflies!  Ha ha ha!
Cameron:  You're one to talk, Clashing-shirt-and-tie Guy.
Cuddy:  Is that a little femmeslash I see in there?  Too bad House's office is a slash-free zone.
Chase & Cameron:  Since when?
Foreman:  What the hell is a "bathing suite"?
Cuddy:  House said the same thing back in Chapter 1.  You are so House Junior! *hic* I wonder when House is coming back. Boy is he going to miss out.


“Hey. I thought I’d come a little early to help you set up.” Allison Cameron smiled at the hospital’s head.
Chase:  I thought this was taking place at Cuddy's house.  How come Allison's looking at the hospital?
Cameron:  And what kind of head does it have?  I vote Gargoyle.


“Yah that’d be great.” Cuddy ushered the doctor in. 30 minutes later Foremen showed up, then Chase, then a bunch of friends of Cuddy’s and some more doctors.

Foreman:  Hey, I'm in this fic!  Actually, apparently more than one of me is:  "Foremen," jeez.
Cuddy:  Told you you bring the hawt! More than once over! *hic*
Cameron & Chase:  *stares*


All the girls (for the exception of one or two) had very promiscuous and obviously new bathing suites.

Foreman:  Once again, what the hell are bathing suites?
Chase:  I don't know, but they're promiscuous.  That's a good sign.
Cuddy:  Boy is House missing out.


House and Wilson enter.  House looks like he always does. Wilson looks dishevelled.
House:  That was an excellent nap.  *stretches*  I feel quite refreshed.
Wilson:  Me too.
Chase:  Wilson, you've got something on your ear. Is that...hair gel?
Wilson:  Yes.
Chase:  Great, I need some. *grabs the goo, runs fingers through hair*
Foreman, Cameron, and Cuddy:  Ewww!
Chase:  *oblivious* You know, someone once said I look like Cameron Diaz.


“Hey James! It’s great to see you!” Cuddy opened the door for the last of expected members of the party.

“Hey Lisa, sorry I’m late. Our little limping friend had some issues so I had to drive his drunk ass home.” Cuddy just said ‘oh’, but that was all.

House:  Didn't this party start at 1 pm?  That's a little early in the day to be too drunk to drive, even for me.
Wilson:  But my poor little limping friend had issues.  Maybe you're emo!alcoholic!House in this.
House:  Maybe THAT'S why fic!me thought the phone was too slippery.
Wilson and House look at each other.
Together:  Nah!


GHMDGHMDGHMDGHMD

“KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! DING! DING! DING! KNOCK! KNOCK” the noise came from the front door.

“House?” asked Cuddy.

Foreman:  Not the house, the door.
Cameron:  Your door shouts, Cuddy.


“The one and only. Look I was wondering if Wilson was here?” He stepped past her and walked into her home.

“Yah. Are you going stay?”

Cuddy:  Yah!
Cameron:  Like totally!
Cuddy: Omigod!
Wilson: Gag me.
House: *sotto voce* That can be arranged.


“Sure. Why not, I mean after all Jimbo’s here!” he gave her a smile that just screamed trouble.

“Do you have a bathing suite?” she asked.

House & Foreman:  WHAT THE HELL IS A BATHING SUITE?!?
House:  Jinx!  Buy me a Coke!
Foreman:  I'm not your Wilson.
Wilson:  Hey! *pauses, has a thought, starts daydreaming* House's Wilson...  Such a nice ring to it.  *starts doodling:  Dr.
James House-Wilson, Jimmy House-Wilson, Dr. & Dr. Greg House-Wilson*

“You know…no, I thought about it…but I’m not sure people would want to see a lovely spot on my leg were muscle once was. It’s actually gross…in less you like a gross thing, then it’s very cool” he smiled and winked at her then walked into her backyard.

Foreman:  That "in less" is supposed to be "unless."
Cuddy:  Way to twist the knife on that guilt, House.  I thought this was supposed to be a fun fic. *pouts* *hic*


Wilson spotted House the second he came out.

House: *opens mouth*
Cuddy:  Leave it!  You're back in the slash-free zone.  *hic* If I can't have femmeslash, you can't have boyslash.
House:  There was femmeslash?  I missed femmeslash?!?  Damn you and your multiple orgasms, Wilson!
Cameron:  TMI!  But intriguing...


“What are you doing here? How did you get here?”

“I sober up quickly.”

“Yah…you have practice” he said sarcastically.

Cuddy:  Yah!
Cameron:  Meh, I'm over that joke.


Everyone was looking at House oddly as if he shouldn’t be there. They starred even more as he get into the pool fully dressed. Cameron swam over to him.

Foreman:  Fully dressed?  What grown man goes in the pool fully dressed?

Robert Sean Leonard:  Secret Season 3 spoiler, or stupid coincidence?
Hugh Laurie:  The author can't spell "bathing suit" properly; what do you think?
RSL:  Want to go "practice our scenes"?
HL:  Thought you'd never ask.  OK if Stephen watches?


“You look great in a bathing suite” she said.

Foreman:  Bathing suite!  ARRGGH! *chokes on own tongue and falls to ground*
Chase:  I think we need a poking stick.
Cameron:  Crappy anime FTW!
Cuddy:  What?
Cameron:  What?


He ran his hand threw the water and splashed her on the face. “HEY” she yelled as she splashed him and then swam away. House got out and sat next to Wilson on the edge of the large pool. House watched as Cuddy was about to jump in. Oh and he was going to make the most of his opportunity. He walked up behind her

Chase: Squilsh, squilsh, squilsh went his sopping wet jeans.
Cameron:  How is he getting around?  Did he take his cane in the pool with him?


and started to untie her halter top/

House:  Now we're getting somewhere!  *munches popcorn*

As she was about to jump something wrapped their arms around her and tackled her into the pool. When she came up she felt rather well nude.

Cuddy:  Fic!me didn't notice he was untying my halter?  *hic* Fic!me is so stupid.
House:  Maybe you enjoyed the thought you'd be flashing most of the people who work for you.
Cuddy:  *CuddysmackTM*
Cameron:  Once again, did he take the cane in the pool with him?


She looked over at House who was holding the brown top that belonged to Lisa Cuddy. She swam over to him.

Cuddy: *hic* The top belongs to my sister.  Who is also named Lisa Cuddy.  She hates it when I steal her clothes.

“Ass!” she yelled.

“Hey you’re getting a little too close there Cuddy” House hurled the top to a laughing Wilson. But instead of continuing the ‘monkey in the middle game’ Wilson handed it back to her.

House:  I was wrong.
All:  GASP!
House:  We're not acting like 13-year olds in this fic, we're acting like 11-year olds.


“B-O-R-N-G! Do you know what that spells Jimmy Boy?”

“Borng?”

“Exactly. Boring, Obnoxious, Rude, Naive, Giving! That’s what you are! Borng”

Foreman:  Giving?  That's an insult?
House:  Hey, where is Wilson?  He hasn't commented in a while.


“And you’re L-I-A”

Cameron:  Who's talking?
Chase:  Who cares?


“Lying, Insensitive, ass!” Cuddy said.

“Yah but you still don’t know what your phone spells out.”

“Yah I do, it’s….”

Cuddy:  Yah!
Cameron:  Really, really over that joke.


GHMDGHMDGHMD

Can anyone guess what he phone number is? K well bye.

Chase:  What is this phone number thing?
House:  It's from Chapter 1.  Boring.  You really won't care.

Wilson comes in from the conference room.  He looks much more like his typical self.

House:  Where have you been?
Wilson:  Putting myself together.  Unlike some people I could name, I care about looking presentable at work.
All:  *stare at House*
House:  What?  He's talking about Cuddy and her slutty Puritan thing.
Cuddy:  Wrong!  He's talking about Cameron and her vests!
Cameron:  What?!?  We women should stick together!
Cuddy:  Stick a sock in it, girly.  No, I'm serious.  *gestures to Cameron's chest* But you're going to need more than one
sock.
Cameron: *evil glare at Cuddy*
House:  Catfight!  *pulls chair in closer, passes popcorn to Chase and Foreman who have pulled up chairs next to him*
Cameron:  *glares at men*  But Wilson's really talking about Chase and his shirts!
Chase:  Uh uh!  He's talking about...
Foreman:  I know you're not going to say me, white boy.
Chase: *chagrined*
Wilson: *straightening lab coat*  Actually, if you'll recall, I said "some people." Plural.
House:  You wound me, Wilson!  You run your sword right through me!
Wilson:  Every chance I get. *salacious leer completely at odds with his otherwise presentable appearance*


HL:  I liked the way you played that bit at the end.
RSL:  I always greatly enjoy the bit at the end.
HL:  Oh you!
Stephen Fry:  Gentlemen!  I found my glasses!  Let's get on with it.

[identity profile] in-a-crater.livejournal.com 2009-12-18 08:03 am (UTC)(link)
BORNG. And HL and RSL having their say was great as well. How are there no comments here? Possibly you write a lot of lovely MST.

[identity profile] deelaundry.livejournal.com 2009-12-18 12:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I posted this on the [livejournal.com profile] house_mst community before I posted it on my LJ, so most of the comments are over there.