Dee Laundry (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
deelaundry) wrote2020-10-19 12:08 pm
deelaundry) wrote2020-10-19 12:08 pm
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One time I started an Ocean's 13 fic, apparently
Funny what you find when you go through old stuff. Here is a short scene I sketched out for an Ocean's 13 caper, with Ben Affleck as a new character called Dean. Because it was weird to see Casey Affleck and Matt Damon in a movie without Ben.
(Reminder Linus=Matt, Rusty=Brad Pitt, Virgil=Casey, Turk=Scott Caan, Virgil & Turk are twins)
Dean is a "second generation" scammer just like Linus, and they know each other "from around." In this scene, the team is about to have Dean play the jealous lover of a woman who's dining at an outdoor cafe.
Dean: We have to change the plan.
Linus: What?
Dean: That waiter (points) is my ex-husband.
Rusty: You’re gay?
Linus: You didn’t know that?
(Turns to each team member in turn) No. No. No. No.
Dean: What about having this kid do it? (Gesturing to Virgil) He kind of looks like me.
Linus: His name is Virgil, and he doesn’t really look like you.
Dean: Virgil? That’s an unusual name. Where have I heard that before? Wait a minute. Are you Virgil Molloy?
Virgil (warily): Yeah?
Dean: You son-of-a-bitch, you ruined my birthday.
Virgil and Linus (together): What?
Dean: My third birthday party – your mother’s water broke right before the cake. It was chocolate with chocolate cowboy boots on top of it, and I never got to eat any of it. Didn’t even get my presents until the next day.
Virgil: Well, actually Turk is older so you should probably blame him.
Linus: I’m not sure you could play a woman’s jealous lover, anyway.
Dean: Are you saying I can’t pass for straight? How can you say that? Everyone in this room thought I was straight. Even your gay friend thought I was straight. (Pointing)
Linus: Rusty’s not gay.
Dean (shocked, turns to Rusty): Really? With that style?
Virgil: We have to change the plan!
Linus is throwing out ideas randomly. Virgil & Turk are arguing with him. Rusty is staring intently at the scene, eyes moving back and forth, thinking.
Dean (to Rusty, in an aside): So you’re really straight?
Rusty (matter-of-factly): Yep.
Dean: Not even bi?
Rusty: Nope.
Dean: Ignore the message I left for you at the hotel, then.
Rusty: Check. (Stands up; louder, to everyone) Here’s what we’re going to do…
(Reminder Linus=Matt, Rusty=Brad Pitt, Virgil=Casey, Turk=Scott Caan, Virgil & Turk are twins)
Dean is a "second generation" scammer just like Linus, and they know each other "from around." In this scene, the team is about to have Dean play the jealous lover of a woman who's dining at an outdoor cafe.
Dean: We have to change the plan.
Linus: What?
Dean: That waiter (points) is my ex-husband.
Rusty: You’re gay?
Linus: You didn’t know that?
(Turns to each team member in turn) No. No. No. No.
Dean: What about having this kid do it? (Gesturing to Virgil) He kind of looks like me.
Linus: His name is Virgil, and he doesn’t really look like you.
Dean: Virgil? That’s an unusual name. Where have I heard that before? Wait a minute. Are you Virgil Molloy?
Virgil (warily): Yeah?
Dean: You son-of-a-bitch, you ruined my birthday.
Virgil and Linus (together): What?
Dean: My third birthday party – your mother’s water broke right before the cake. It was chocolate with chocolate cowboy boots on top of it, and I never got to eat any of it. Didn’t even get my presents until the next day.
Virgil: Well, actually Turk is older so you should probably blame him.
Linus: I’m not sure you could play a woman’s jealous lover, anyway.
Dean: Are you saying I can’t pass for straight? How can you say that? Everyone in this room thought I was straight. Even your gay friend thought I was straight. (Pointing)
Linus: Rusty’s not gay.
Dean (shocked, turns to Rusty): Really? With that style?
Virgil: We have to change the plan!
Linus is throwing out ideas randomly. Virgil & Turk are arguing with him. Rusty is staring intently at the scene, eyes moving back and forth, thinking.
Dean (to Rusty, in an aside): So you’re really straight?
Rusty (matter-of-factly): Yep.
Dean: Not even bi?
Rusty: Nope.
Dean: Ignore the message I left for you at the hotel, then.
Rusty: Check. (Stands up; louder, to everyone) Here’s what we’re going to do…