Anywhere But Chuck E. Cheese’s (PG-13)

[deelaundry]

Title: Anywhere But Chuck E. Cheese’s
Author: Dee Laundry
Summary/Notes: House gets a call. Silly PG-13, 360-word ficlet set about two years after the end of S5. Dialogue-only. Chase/Cameron, House/Wilson (implied). Reference to slash sex, which you can pretend is a joke if you've got “friendship goggles.”

Yeah, what?

A cheery good lunch-time to you, too, House.

Ah. How goes it in the Cameron-Chase Dank Den of Doom?

The babies are doing well, thank you. We think they’re out of the worst of the colic.

But the bitchiness will last a lifetime.

For some people it does. Listen, my wonderful and generous spouse –

Who is standing right next to you.

Yes. Yes, that’s true. Anyway, my dear spouse has agreed to take care of the twins solo for a few hours this weekend so I can spend some free time around something besides Boppies and Barney.

I don’t know what either of those are.

Which is why I’m calling you. Out of everyone I know, you’re the least likely to want to coo or compare notes or even ask me to see pictures. So how about it? Want to grab some spicy, cholesterol-laden food at a sports bar, and then see whatever movie out now has the most swearing in it? I’ll pay.

You won’t talk about the kids at all?

Are you kidding?

Just checking. What day?

Sunday, I was thinking.

This weekend? No can do. It’s Slutty Sunday; I’m busy.

Did they add a new special to Cinemax? TiVo it and come out with me.

It’s not a TV thing. Wilson has one Monday a month that he gives annual performance reviews, and the night before he always gets tanked on pina coladas and gives me head without expecting me to reciprocate. I’m not missing that.

I haven’t been out without the kids in months! You can skip it this once.

Recriprocation-free oral sex without any guilt trip. Tell me that’s not awesome enough to stay home for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Saturday I have to work a half-shift in the afternoon, but I guess we could go out after that. Chase would be stuck with the kids for like ten hours straight, though, which I hate to... No, come to think of it, that comment about me “not getting anything done” during maternity leave deserves a little lesson. Saturday will be fine.

Don’t forget your purse.

I won’t. I’ll pick you up Saturday at six.

Comments

[taiga13.livejournal.com]

So it was Cameron asking to go out with House to a sports bar? I wasn't expecting that.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Yep, Cameron. She really, really needs a few hours without any baby stuff at all in it, and a sports bar seems like the most likely place. This may or may not be modeled on me after my second maternity leave. :D Thanks.

[hibernia1.livejournal.com]

I adore it, hilarious!!!!! Thanks for making me laugh out loud!

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Heh, it's so silly! Thanks for reading!

[remydoodle.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA So that makes Chase the woman in that relationship Huh!!!!

Very nice!

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Well, Cameron did take maternity leave. But, yeah, I think they trade off "wearing the pants." Heh. Thanks!

[xaipw.livejournal.com]

BWAH! I totally thought he was talking to Chase. But it makes sense that Cam wears the pants in that relationship.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

I thought it'd be fun to leave it unclear. :D But yeah, after too long with babies, it's easy to get a little cabin fever and want a few hours with nothing kiddie at all in them. Thanks!

[vitawash24.livejournal.com]

LOL, that is hilarious! Love it.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Hee, hee. Chase and Cameron are quite happy in their relationship here, but sometimes a Mom needs a little time away. :D Thanks!

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

Chase seems like he's better with kids anyway. I liked Slutty Sunday.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Slutty Sunday was what came to me first, and then I had to come up with the occasion for House to mention it. : ) Thanks.

[layne67.livejournal.com]

'Kay, we're only halfway through season 5 here but reading this fic, I sincerely hope that Cameron/Chase did end up together because I ship them!!

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Chase and Cameron have both really grown as characters over Seasons Four and Five, and there is no denying they are gorgeous together! More relationship stuff for them at the end of Season Five.

Thanks!

[presocratic.livejournal.com]

I adore Cameron - as well as her relationship with House. You did a beautiful job with her here. :D

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

I was not a fan of Cameron in Seasons One through Three, but I like her a lot now. Her scene with House in the S5 season finale was awesome. I think she could make a good friend for House (as could Chase). Thanks.

[alemyrddin.livejournal.com]

I kept wondering if it was Chase or Cameron, hoping it was Cameron, because, really, mothers deserve a break from their children sometimes! (fathers often have them anyway)

This was fun. :)

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

One of my favorite kids' books starts with the line, "Penny's mom needed a break." Dad takes Penny and her brother out to the mall while Mom kicks back with popcorn and TV. Kids need unconditional love, of course; it's nice for them to hear that moms need some time to themselves too : )

Thanks!

[lz1982.livejournal.com]

That was cute! I definitely thought House was talking to Chase for most of the fic, which I'm sure was intentional on your part.

[deelaundry.livejournal.com]

Thanks!